Dear Robyn,I'm SO sorry to hear about the difficult time you are having with your father and his recent fall. Here I have been piddling around, whining into a cup of coffee, as we move into our sixth week, and you have had a tougher time than I have. But until you can do more along the Medicare lines, let me tell you about Jewish Family Service. I looked them up and you have JFS in San Diego. Here, in the Bay Area, you don't have to have a drop of Jewish blood ANYWHERE, not even your little toe, to use any of their services. My daughters insisted I get some of their "Seniors at Home" service. So Mondays and Thursday afternoons, 1-5p.m, a big husky Filipino guy called Manny, comes to give David a more professional bed bath, a decent shave, (not D's left-handed one!) get him out- side in the wheel chair, change the sheets ,do DAvid's laundry, clean his little bathroom,( not that David can use it because he can't,) wipe down the trolley of his "stuff" beside his bed, and generally do whatever is needed. So little is needed that Manny actually sits around quite a bit and reads or feeds the ducks outside our house, but the fact is, I get out for 4 hours, I feel David is very well taken care of, and we both enjoy the break. I do those same tasks daily, except taking the wheel chair down the steep ramp to get outside. We called JFS. They sent a supervisor to meet David and to see what was needed. They inspected my housekeeping (which is not good!!!), but they saw that basically I need someone to help lift David, or handle the big casts right now. We listed possible tasks, it costs $25 an hour, but nothing else, no transport, no gratuities...nothing..for a person who is vetted and employed not by us, but by JFS. He is also insured to drive David in his ,or my, car, should the need arise. Yes, it is $200 a week for 8 hours, that we were not paying before, but we don't go out now, we aren't shopping much, no theater, opera, no driving the car, no car insurance on the car that was totalled etc so for us it is worth it. Each person's budget is different. My daughters were right. Last week, the first real week of Manny's help, I got to have my hair done, go to my own doctor, poke in the plant nursery, and all the time I felt good. David was safe and comfortable. ( He is embarrassed doing awkward bathroom stuff in front of his daughters tho they would help more if he let them)So may be you could check out JFS just to get one or two breaks. I think there is a 4 hour minimum. You certainly deserve it. I remember your implying your father had a lot of activities he was still interested in, a while ago, so possibly like DAvid, he has become a bit depressed about being so dependent, and that means he is less himself around you. ....I warmly recommend trying JFS..and if they don't work there is something called Bright Star who also was willing to do the same tasks for us..with vetted employees. This is all until you get more help from Medicare. We happen to feel that David's situation is temporary..until the ribs heal, the casts some off and he can begin therapy. For others things may take longer.Please keep us informed, or write to my e-mail. Once again, I am truly sorry I didn't know that you too, were having a worrisome time.Big Momma
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