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Author: Allisonh2 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 2450  
Subject: Detachment Date: 8/25/2009 1:38 PM
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I have had to cut ties with my almost 23 year old son Kyle lately. His girlfriend is physco (seriously) she doesn't like me and she controls my son no end (they have a 2 year old son together and live together)I have tried to reason and talk to Nicki but she just goes
off on me and won't listen. Not at all. I don't need this.

To make a short story short here, Nicki (gf) was horrible and rude to me and my bf on vacation in late July even though I paid for the cabin and all (almost $1,000) But I have had to detach myself from them now even though we live in the same town. Kyle has a drinking problem, and would only call me up to "borrow" money. It's making me so sad because he has so much potential, so talented mechanically wise (he can fix anything or repair anything) Hate to see him waste his life like this. I worry about my grandson too.

But I can't help him anymore until he tries to first help himself. And I do know he is NOT happy with the controlling girlfriend Nicki, but he stays there because he has no where else to go. Plus of course of his son. He has come to my place to stay for a weekend here and there, but she bullies him back. First she's rotten as hell, then when that doesn't work, she guilt trips him, and will send emails to him saying "I love you, I don't want to lose you, Tayton misses his dad, etc". I have told Kyle that he needs to get his own place (save up for it) and just get visitation rights to see his son even if he has to pay child support. His life is a mess but only he can straighten it up. I do not have the $$ to get him a place of his own as I'm struggling just to keep my head above water these days.


I guess for my own sanity I must turn my back on my son for now. I have a 17 year old daughter who still lives at home, my mom is 94 and my stepdad is 95. We will have to put my stepdad in a nursing home sometime next month (he has advanced alzheimers and his knees are bad, he has to use a walker to walk.

So dealing with this all, plus worrying about losing my job in this economy, well, I have no choice in the matter but to detach myself from my son.

Am I depressed? Clincally, maybe not. But emotionally, yes I would say I am.

Allison
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