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Author: 3millionthfool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 44390  
Subject: dishonesty Date: 7/9/2001 4:27 PM
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I've been with my gf for almost 2 years now. We are very serious – we have bought a house together.

I am pretty much fanatical about being honest. I would never lie or cheat on her, and she knows very well how I feel about that. We've had a couple of bad experiences with her lying to me. It's always been small very stupid things and it's been very bad for our relationship. We almost broke up about it then and have had many problems with me not trusting her since. I have worked hard for the past year or so trying to trust her again and it happened again last night.

This is going to sound so stupid but to me it's a big deal. Last night, she went to bed about an hour before me. I brushed my teeth and noticed that her toothbrush was dry. When I got in bed she said something and was coherently awake. I asked her if she brushed her teeth, fully expecting her to say no, but she said yes, that she did. I said her toothbrush was bone-dry and there was no way she had brushed her teeth and was getting upset. She denied it for a while, making up more lies to cover it up and finally she admitted to lying. I went in the bathroom and was very upset and shoveled the contents of the counter into the sink, breaking some things and then was getting my stuff ready to leave.

She got very upset and I didn't have the heart to leave so I slept on the couch. This morning I told her to make an appointment with her therapist today and start preparing to be alone.

1) I'm very worried about whether or not she can handle us breaking up
2) I really love her and hate that she did this – I don't know if I can trust her again and I told her many many times that if she lied to me again it would be over.
3) Jeas, we have a lot to lose. I don't know how much money we'll lose trying to sell our house this early, etc.
4) If she lies about something small, what says she won't lie about something big.
5) I can't figure out a way that she could convince me this won't happen again but one of the things she kept saying last night is “I've worked hard to not lie again…”
6) The times that I have caught her lying she denied and made up more lies – not just admitting to it, until I totally proved that she was lying before she admitted it.
7) If I don't break up with her, after promising her that it would be over if she lied again, what will that tell her? That she can get away with it?
8) Are there any totally honest females out there?


**sigh** any thoughts? Thanks for any help…
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