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Author: SpottedClick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 1971420  
Subject: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 3:16 PM
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Gene Simmons, the face-paint wearing, "demon guitarist" of Kiss, one of the world's most outrageously successful rock acts..... has notched up 43 gold discs, 30 years of touring and, he says, 4,600 female conquests.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/02/19/nrock19.xml&sSheet=/news/2006/02/19/ixhome.html

Simmons is now 56.
Let's suppose he started his Shagathon at the age of 16.
That gives him 40 years in which to rack up his 4,600 female conquests.
This works out at 125 new conquests every year, non-stop through colds, headaches, indigestion, food poisoning and all the other ailments that torment mortal man (not to speak of the odd dose of syphilis, gonorrheoa, chlamydia, genital warts and genital herpes he's probably picked up on the way).

The odds are against this being a true story, don't you think?

Me? I'd rather have a nice cup of tea.



CF



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Author: kenm47 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 899744 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 3:23 PM
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"The odds are against this being a true story, don't you think?"

Not caring.

Ken

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Author: mcemerson Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 899747 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 3:29 PM
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The odds are against this being a true story, don't you think?

No, did you ever see the groupies hanging around guys like this? He could have been doing two or three a night. 125 a year doesn't seem unlikely at all.


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Author: boad Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 899756 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 3:48 PM
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4,600 female conquests.

That's all??

Boad

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Author: SpottedClick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 899760 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 3:55 PM
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He could have been doing two or three a night


Once, long before I got married, I had a particular week in which I enjoyed the favours of four different girls on consecutive nights.
On the fifth night, when yet one more was a certainty, I found myself asking "Charles - what on earth are you doing? What are you trying to prove?". I refrained.

I am certain that if Gene Simmons is "doing" two or three a night it must be a soulless, pointless, joyless, mechanical exercise for him, entirely devoid of passion or purpose.


CF



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Author: Anibaldo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 899765 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 3:59 PM
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I am certain that if Gene Simmons is "doing" two or three a night it must be a soulless, pointless, joyless, mechanical exercise for him, entirely devoid of passion or purpose.


CF


Crap.

Gene

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Author: mcemerson Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 899771 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 4:19 PM
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Once, long before I got married, I had a particular week in which I enjoyed the favours of four different girls on consecutive nights.
On the fifth night, when yet one more was a certainty, I found myself asking "Charles - what on earth are you doing? What are you trying to prove?". I refrained.


I won't go over my past exploits but I can honestly say that I never "refrained" until I got married.

I am certain that if Gene Simmons is "doing" two or three a night it must be a soulless, pointless, joyless, mechanical exercise for him, entirely devoid of passion or purpose.

I imagine it had a point and a purpose... just like that fellow said about climbing Mt. Everest.

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Author: SpottedClick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 899776 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 4:27 PM
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I won't go over my past exploits but I can honestly say that I never "refrained" until I got married.


Neither did I, Mark - my point was about the essential pointlessness and joylessness of multiple couplings, night after night.




CF


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Author: mcemerson Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 899779 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 4:33 PM
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I won't go over my past exploits but I can honestly say that I never "refrained" until I got married.

Neither did I, Mark - my point was about the essential pointlessness and joylessness of multiple couplings, night after night.

Again... I never found that to be a problem. ;~)


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Author: Shayaharry Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 899780 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 4:39 PM
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Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have boinked over 20,000.

Gene isn't fit to hold Wilt's...,er...sceptre.

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Author: SpottedClick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 899784 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 4:44 PM
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Again... I never found that to be a problem.


You are, of course, not an Englishman, Mark.




CF


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Author: SpottedClick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 899786 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 4:46 PM
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Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have boinked over 20,000.





(;-) CF


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Author: SpottedClick Big funky green star, 20000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 899789 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/19/2006 4:54 PM
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Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have boinked over 20,000.


Just thinking about this - Chamberlain was 63 when he died (of a heart attack).
Giving him the benefit of the doubt, let's assume he became sexually active at the age of 13 and started his Shagathon then.
That's 400 new sexual partners a year, year in, year out, without time off for good conduct.

He's pulling our.....legs.



CF


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Author: Wolfshead56 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 900042 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/20/2006 11:20 AM
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Simmons is now 56.
Let's suppose he started his Shagathon at the age of 16.
That gives him 40 years in which to rack up his 4,600 female conquests.
This works out at 125 new conquests every year, non-stop through colds, headaches, indigestion, food poisoning and all the other ailments that torment mortal man (not to speak of the odd dose of syphilis, gonorrheoa, chlamydia, genital warts and genital herpes he's probably picked up on the way).

The odds are against this being a true story, don't you think?


He's still got a long way to go to beat Wilt

herb

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Author: Wolfshead56 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 900052 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/20/2006 11:35 AM
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I am certain that if Gene Simmons is "doing" two or three a night it must be a soulless, pointless, joyless, mechanical exercise for him, entirely devoid of passion or purpose.


Could be. Link this to your other post about "too old" It's all about the image.

herb

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Author: Wolfshead56 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 900064 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/20/2006 11:50 AM
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That's 400 new sexual partners a year, year in, year out, without time off for good conduct

Maybe that's why he had a heart attack at 63

herb

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Author: mcemerson Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 900070 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/20/2006 11:58 AM
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That's 400 new sexual partners a year, year in, year out, without time off for good conduct

Maybe that's why he had a heart attack at 63

I had a heart attack at 39. ;~)

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Author: Wolfshead56 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 900105 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/20/2006 12:41 PM
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I had a heart attack at 39. ;~)


Glad you survived it. Right now I'm ahead of the odds. On my dad's side my great grandfather, my grandfather, my father and his twin brother all had them before they were 50. I got half a year to go.

herb

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Author: mcemerson Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 900142 of 1971420
Subject: Re: Do you believe King Priapus? Date: 2/20/2006 1:35 PM
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I had a heart attack at 39. ;~)

Glad you survived it.

Thanks, but it would seem you are in the minority here. ;~)

On my dad's side my great grandfather, my grandfather, my father and his twin brother all had them before they were 50. I got half a year to go.

Yeah, it was in my genes also. My Dad died at 42, his brother died at 48 and none of my grandmother's brothers (and she had a bunch of them) ever got a chance to collect Social Security... all from heart attacks.

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