Does everyone agree that I need to quit pondering my 401 and my pension plan as it relates to my current debt/spending problem?

It depends on what you mean by 'pondering'.

If you are considering borrowing from your 401(k) or pension to 'solve' your problem: YES, STOP PONDERING!!!! That's just shifting the debt from one place to another, not paying it off.

If you are considering decreasing your contributions to your 401(k), to get some additional cash flow to pay down debt, then the answer is maybe, with these caveats....
- You need to get a real budgeting process set up FIRST (agreements with wife on goals/priorities, etc.), so that you can really commit the money that you aren't saving is going to the debt payoff, and not to finance spending
- If you get a match, you should still contribute the minimum amount to realize the maximum match
- You need to make sure you understand the tax consequences of contributing less to your 401(k) so that you don't get caught short when tax time comes

AJ