Lately I have been having dreams about my husband. In the dreams he is the opposite of what he was in life--always in trouble. We are always losing things--cars, credit cards, houses. I wonder what these dreams could mean!I take Ambien for sleep and it is known to produce wild dreams and I am aware of this but do so many of them feature my dear husband in trouble, financially and legally? He never was in real life.Cathy "Cat"
Hi cat. I'm a recent widow, and just found this board. I think for me right now, well lets just say I have a lot of anxiety over money and house issues. Everything is fine on both those fronts, but I'm worried about them constantly. I chalk it up to losing my husband suddenly and unexpectedly. Maybe that is what your processing in your dreams? Coracora
(((((Cat and CoraCora)))))After my DH passed away, I spent a couple of years feeling a great deal of anxiety about my financial state. I had a lot of nightmares about being a bag lady sitting on a curb somewhere with nowhere to go....I had a decent job, but think that a lot of the anxiety was about being on my own, with nobody to share the emotional and financial burdens. Also, all my plans for the future had been plans for the two of us, and many of them things I couldn't or wouldn't do on my own. Not to mention that if you have two employed people live together, and one of them loses their job for some unknown reason, you still have an employed person to pay the bills. If you are alone, you're it. Much scarier.My DH died quite suddenly, from a genetic thing we never knew he had until it was too late. I find myself wondering sometimes how we might have lived and planned differently had we known. On the other hand, he had a wonderful quality of life, and if we had known he had this medical issue, his whole life would have been different, as we would have been so much more cautious in what we did. None of that hiking over the continental divide, for example....It will be 14 years in December. Unbelievable.RDW
Thanks for sharing. How are you doing now? My husband died in July with complications due to a genetic disorder we knew he had. We would have been married for 7 years yesterday. I can tell you honestly we would have lived our lives everyday in the same exact way had we known this would have happened. Sometimes there is just nothing you can do. We had a constant battle between living our life together and his medical needs. It was a happy marriage, and he had a good life. He made a decision when he was very young to live a life, and I supported that choice. I tell people that he fit more living in the past ten years of his life than most people have in 70 years. As far as the financial stuff, when you have a genetic disorder that is know it is very hard to get insurance. So we did set our life up based on one income. That has been a help for me. But yes, it can be scary.
Anniversaries, like your wedding anniversary yesterday, or birthdays and holidays, can still be painful at times, even after all these years. But then I also lost my sister and mother fairly recently, and their loss triggered repeats of some of my "left behind" angst.I'm doing fine these days. I had several rough years after DH died - it was like part of me died, too, and I had to remake myself into a new, different person, if that makes any sense.RDW
I'm doing fine these days......I can identify. Glad you're doing better now. I recently lost a daughter, which also brought up all the angst from losing my husband(11 years ago) but in a totally different way. There's simply no way to explain the different faces that grief presents. If, as they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, we should all be pretty dang strong by now,eh? Hang in there....life is still good...Abba
My husband has been gone for 20 years! But it seems like yesterday. I still have dreams with him. He is usually doing something wrong, we are arguing. This very rarely happened in real life. I think deep down, we are angry at our loved one for leaving us. But I still enjoy having him in my dreams.When he died, he left me financially okay. But I was afraid to go to WalMart to buy a pair of sweats! Seems we all have similar experiences and fears to overcome.Abba, I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter. You are a strong lady.Life is good;))~Birgit
Thanks to all of you for responding. As far as how I am doing today, it's been four years now and I am living in a group home as I have no living relatives and we were renting a large house at the time. I am living on disability and a widow's pension and my circumstances make me miss him and his stability more each day.Just last week, the A/C pooped out and we were without air for 7 days before they could find out what was wrong with it. I could only get through it by thinking that he'd smile and sweat and go on. (Of course he would have found out what was wrong with the A/C much faster!)I am still having those dreams, some of which depict him driving old cars and trading them and others show him as a musician (he had a semi-karaoke voice) Sometimes I look forward to going to sleep at night so I know I'll dream of him in one way or another.Cathy "Cat"
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