ekirby,

I try to let my kids know what generally accepted societal norms are, such as dining behavior in a restaurant, and make that the standard in our home as well. Then, if the ex doesn't hold them to that standard, he/she looks like the exception not the rule. Don't compare your house to theirs, set standards you can back up. You might even get an etiquette book from Ann Landers or other widely recognised authority and read it together. Have an evening where they can play restaurant and practice serving and being served and keep all of the dining guidelines, it's harder than most people think!

This will also prepare them for those state dinners at the White House when they are invited.

Jeffrey