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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 37173  
Subject: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 12:58 AM
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I have this stoopid effin voice in my head. Whenever I finish a task when I'm decluttering, it tells me that wasn't very much and I should do another.

I have another that I think is actually me. It coaxes me to get started and not procrastinate. Sometimes it really has to coax a long time before I even begin because the stoopid voice is telling me that even what I'm thinking of doing is not enough and look at this, and this, and this, and this that all need doing.

Tonight I'd planned to clean up ONE pile of paper off the floor, take a dolly from my car and some electrical wires from my couch to storage and my regular chores, like open the mail and deal with it.

I got home late and there was a LOT of mail in the foyer. I carried it upstairs and threw it on the couch while I changed and watched Jeopardy. I decided going to storage first was a good idea because It was the hardest job to coax myself into, even though it was a very short task.

It took 20 minutes of coaxing, while my stoopid voice kept telling me that there was so much to do out there it would take me all night, until I finally went out there. I took the dolly and the electric wires and put them where they belonged and while I was out there I loaded the dolly with a bunch of books and papers I was going to take to pulp this weekend. That way the dolly would be all loaded and it would be easier to take it to the car first thing on Saturday.

Fine. But then I went through one of my DD's suitcases to see if there was something I could send to her in the box I was preparing (which, by the way, the VOICE told me, needed to get done because it was all sitting in the middle of the living room floor....)

And I started to try to reduce some of the c-r-a-p that's in the second storage unit to see how hard it was going to be to combine the two. That stuff was REALLY hard to confront but I managed to empty about half a box. Finally, with the VOICE yelling at me the whole way about how useless I was, I locked it all up and went back to the apartment. I checked my watch. A 5-minute task had taken me 25.

So then I went and organized all that stuff I was preparing to send to DD and put it on the stairs in a tote to take it to the P.O. in later in the week.

I sat on the couch and started in on the mail and by the time I had it opened and sorted into shred, recycle and file, I was totally overwhelmed and couldn't move. I texted my DD to tell her what was happening and she suggested I make a list and check things off to show myself that I was getting things done.

"Nah," I replied, "the list would just keep getting longer." She thought that was pretty funny. At least her LOL got me moving a little.

Finally, I realized just how overwhelmed I was and decided to ef the stoopid effin voice and reboot the circuitry. I gave myself a new set of assignments: 1. dispose of all this paper; 2. EAT SOMETHING; and 3. deal with that pile on the floor. Then 4. DO SOMETHING FUN. I promised myself I could read a book I was interested in or watch Hulu.

So I got up, got rid of the paper and went to make dinner but realized (thank you, Stoopid Voice) that I should wash some dishes because DH was going to be late tonight and wouldn't have time to do them before bed. So I did most of them and then threw together some quinoa, leftover turkey and veggies and while it cooked I dealt with the pile of paper on the floor, which turned out to be mostly addresses for entering into my spreadsheet and some photos and recipes. I filed away the recipes and put the photos up where the cat couldn't get them and resisted the urge to do data entry and just put all the addresses in one place with others that needed entry.

Then I ate dinner.

Now it's time to do whatever I want to do but I have just enough time and energy to floss, brush and go to bed. I guess I can watch a little Hulu before I fall asleep. But I am NOT going to listen to that S.E.V.!

Does anyone else have to deal with this? How do you manage?

MOI
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