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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 37143  
Subject: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 12:58 AM
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I have this stoopid effin voice in my head. Whenever I finish a task when I'm decluttering, it tells me that wasn't very much and I should do another.

I have another that I think is actually me. It coaxes me to get started and not procrastinate. Sometimes it really has to coax a long time before I even begin because the stoopid voice is telling me that even what I'm thinking of doing is not enough and look at this, and this, and this, and this that all need doing.

Tonight I'd planned to clean up ONE pile of paper off the floor, take a dolly from my car and some electrical wires from my couch to storage and my regular chores, like open the mail and deal with it.

I got home late and there was a LOT of mail in the foyer. I carried it upstairs and threw it on the couch while I changed and watched Jeopardy. I decided going to storage first was a good idea because It was the hardest job to coax myself into, even though it was a very short task.

It took 20 minutes of coaxing, while my stoopid voice kept telling me that there was so much to do out there it would take me all night, until I finally went out there. I took the dolly and the electric wires and put them where they belonged and while I was out there I loaded the dolly with a bunch of books and papers I was going to take to pulp this weekend. That way the dolly would be all loaded and it would be easier to take it to the car first thing on Saturday.

Fine. But then I went through one of my DD's suitcases to see if there was something I could send to her in the box I was preparing (which, by the way, the VOICE told me, needed to get done because it was all sitting in the middle of the living room floor....)

And I started to try to reduce some of the c-r-a-p that's in the second storage unit to see how hard it was going to be to combine the two. That stuff was REALLY hard to confront but I managed to empty about half a box. Finally, with the VOICE yelling at me the whole way about how useless I was, I locked it all up and went back to the apartment. I checked my watch. A 5-minute task had taken me 25.

So then I went and organized all that stuff I was preparing to send to DD and put it on the stairs in a tote to take it to the P.O. in later in the week.

I sat on the couch and started in on the mail and by the time I had it opened and sorted into shred, recycle and file, I was totally overwhelmed and couldn't move. I texted my DD to tell her what was happening and she suggested I make a list and check things off to show myself that I was getting things done.

"Nah," I replied, "the list would just keep getting longer." She thought that was pretty funny. At least her LOL got me moving a little.

Finally, I realized just how overwhelmed I was and decided to ef the stoopid effin voice and reboot the circuitry. I gave myself a new set of assignments: 1. dispose of all this paper; 2. EAT SOMETHING; and 3. deal with that pile on the floor. Then 4. DO SOMETHING FUN. I promised myself I could read a book I was interested in or watch Hulu.

So I got up, got rid of the paper and went to make dinner but realized (thank you, Stoopid Voice) that I should wash some dishes because DH was going to be late tonight and wouldn't have time to do them before bed. So I did most of them and then threw together some quinoa, leftover turkey and veggies and while it cooked I dealt with the pile of paper on the floor, which turned out to be mostly addresses for entering into my spreadsheet and some photos and recipes. I filed away the recipes and put the photos up where the cat couldn't get them and resisted the urge to do data entry and just put all the addresses in one place with others that needed entry.

Then I ate dinner.

Now it's time to do whatever I want to do but I have just enough time and energy to floss, brush and go to bed. I guess I can watch a little Hulu before I fall asleep. But I am NOT going to listen to that S.E.V.!

Does anyone else have to deal with this? How do you manage?

MOI
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Author: CassWoman Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36026 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 2:02 AM
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We all have that stoopid voice that we deal with to some extent. I find that if I talk back to it (usually inside my head) by using examples of how I've succeeded in accomplishing a comparable task in the past it helps quiet the critical voice. And getting something completed absolutely silences that voice (at least for the moment).

Another suggestion is to us a affirmation to quiet that voice. It could be about completing your decluttering overall, or about a chunk of it, but it must be in the present tense and positively phrased. Something like: I am steadily making progress organizing my possessions. Or: I am joyfully decluttering my life to experience greater freedom! You can add as much enthusiasm to it as you want! (And if you want to email me or message me on FB, I'd be happy to help you figure out a really good one.) repeat the affirmation many times a day, especially when that stoopid voice starts in on you.

Cassandra

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Author: MadCapitalist Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36027 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 6:41 AM
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Does anyone else have to deal with this? How do you manage?

MOI


I definitely have a tendency to get sucked into projects. Once I start organizing something such as a closet, I tend to start pulling everything out and then make a big mess because I can't finish it. To fight this urge, I often set a time limit for myself and use a timer. When the timer goes off, I'm done. I like to see how much I can do before the timer goes off. This forces my brain not to get sucked into anything overly ambitious, because I don't allow myself to leave anything out. I have to put everything away. It forces me to focus.

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Author: tconi Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36029 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 5:13 PM
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not so much a "voice" but maybe more of the distraction that MadCapitalist mentioned.
Today for example, I was going to wash the dishes, clear off the counters & maybe strip & oil the wood floor from the boy's recent carper removal...

So i washed the dishes, cleared the counters and pulled up 80% of the kitchen linoleum and steamed and scraped about 60% of what is left underneath (just have to move the fridge & raise the gas stove to get the last of the linoleum)

So- now i have a WHOLE nother project on the go.

My back is DONE for the day, and I am having wine, sorting mail (manageable Completion tasks ... and will go pick flooring tomorrow morning (and i have to make bread tomorrow for a dinner party I am attending tomorrow night)

Bonus, an "odd" friend has invited himself to "camp" on our couch for the next 3-5 days - he may or may not help with this task.


peace & getting side tracked
t

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36030 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 5:47 PM
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This:

So- now i have a WHOLE nother project on the go.

Yup.

MOI

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Author: blue3dragon Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36031 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 6:56 PM
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I'm struggling with this currently as well. I had the insulation removed from the basement (which required me bringing 1/3 of the items down there up here - half of that was donations/recycling that I was too lazy to drop off so I finally did that). But then the contractor found mold so everything had to come up out of basement. Had the mold dessimated (correct term is remediated but that's not forceful enough for me). Will have the vents & ducts cleaned this coming weekend & then begin the process of bringing everything back down. It's been a rough 3 wks (did I mention the 5 day cluster headache??) and I want nothing more than my house back. All the moving stuff back down & cleaning up here makes me tired just looking around here. I am giving myself til tomorrow to veg (terrified to bring on another headache like last week - worst pain I've ever experienced bar none). But tomorrow night after my ct scan I'm going to start moving some small things down no matter the voice that says it's too much!

Michele
On the plus side my basement is beautiful & will no longer make me sick

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Author: blue3dragon Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36032 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 7:03 PM
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Oh, I made myself clean cat litter, take out the trash, go over some bills & put dishes in washer tonight before I turned on the tv. Last night I went to bed before 8 (2nd night in a row cause I feel so tired) but had a nightmare (my heart was literally pounding when i woke up) about the real housewives of nj of all things! Tonight I accomplished some good things so hopefully no whacko dreams tonight.

Michele

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36033 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 7:48 PM
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but had a nightmare (my heart was literally pounding when i woke up) about the real housewives of nj of all things! Tonight I accomplished some good things so hopefully no whacko dreams tonight.

If you've been living with mold, then your immune system has been taxed by toxins. Try adding more Vitamin B1, Vitamin C and Calcium/Magnesium to your supplementation and see if that doesn't help the nightmares.

MOI
<disclaimer: not a doctor, not prescribing, just suggesting>

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Author: LLRinCO Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36034 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 8:03 PM
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I find if I am driving home and have a plan of what needs to get done, then I do it immediately. Don't sit down and watch TV while thinking about it, that luxury comes after the chores are done. It is not enjoyable watching TV while you know you have chores to do.
Play music while doing chores - motivation and makes it hard to hear the voice. Have a plan, don't sit, just do the plan. Congratulate yourself for completeing the plan, then relax and watch TV.

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36035 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 8:06 PM
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I find if I am driving home and have a plan of what needs to get done, then I do it immediately. Don't sit down and watch TV while thinking about it, that luxury comes after the chores are done. It is not enjoyable watching TV while you know you have chores to do.
Play music while doing chores - motivation and makes it hard to hear the voice. Have a plan, don't sit, just do the plan. Congratulate yourself for completeing the plan, then relax and watch TV.


If doing it were the problem, this would be good advice for me.

It's doing TOO MUCH that's the problem.

And frankly, Jeopardy! trumps all good advice about TV. (I don't have a DVR.)

MOI

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36036 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 8:07 PM
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Oops. Forgot something.

The smiley face.

:)

MOI

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Author: LLRinCO Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36037 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 8:09 PM
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It was this sentence you wrote that prompted what I wrote:

It took 20 minutes of coaxing, while my stoopid voice kept telling me that there was so much to do out there it would take me all night, until I finally went out there.

So it sounds like you needed to be coaxed into getting busy.

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36039 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/27/2012 8:11 PM
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So it sounds like you needed to be coaxed into getting busy.

Not usually. Just if the estupido voice has convinced me that it's an impossible task. Going to storage is one of those things that always seems hard if I don't keep the task down to a little thing. I think it may have something to do with it's kind of a dark and scary place, too. But mostly it's a confused mess.

MOI

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Author: vkg Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36040 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/28/2012 2:01 AM
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Instead of committing to completing specific tasks have you considered allocating time? Tackling major tasks can be very daunting. In some cases just committing that I will do 15 minutes gets the task started. The task may take a number of intervals or may turn out to be simple. Either way instead of ending the night with not being able to do anything you want, you have done something without as much stress.

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Author: snippee Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36041 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/28/2012 9:56 AM
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A different take, perhaps...

There's a good side to your SEV: you do get more done because of it. Doesn't sound like the ends currently justify the means though, since you're overwhelmed and maybe demoralized by it. So, the affirmations (be they written, verbal, mental) are good to counter the extreme negativity of your SEV. Is a compromise possible? By that, I mean, given enough time countering the negative side of it, can it become a reasonable motivation? I ask because, I, too, struggle with making mountains out of organizational molehills - getting down on a task before starting, spending more time procrastinating than the task takes to complete. Tough love time - Self, snap out of it, it'll take five minutes and be done so get moving. A kinder, gentler SEV, if you will, one that tells it like it is without emotional abuse.

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36042 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/28/2012 10:11 AM
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Instead of committing to completing specific tasks have you considered allocating time? Tackling major tasks can be very daunting. In some cases just committing that I will do 15 minutes gets the task started. The task may take a number of intervals or may turn out to be simple. Either way instead of ending the night with not being able to do anything you want, you have done something without as much stress.

Yes. That's how this all started, in fact. I have tried and tried to make this work and I cannot just stop when I'm in the middle of something. I must quell that urge to do MORE so that I don't get stuck at the 15-minute part with something unfinished, or at least something so monumental that I can't finish it in a few minutes.

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36043 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 12/28/2012 10:19 AM
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A kinder, gentler SEV, if you will, one that tells it like it is without emotional abuse.

Heh heh. I kinda like that idea.

Last night I sort of managed to confine myself to the ONE task that I had set for myself, straightening at least half of the mess under the piano bench. (Which was created by some of the other monumental tasks mentioned in days past. It was all leftover music and such that I had to decide whether to keep, give away or sell and then put away what I kept.)

But here's the killer. In the process of putting away the music I was going to keep, the file drawer BROKE. At least maybe it broke. It came of its railing on one side and a piece came out.

This is a large legal sized drawer about three feet wide and the result is that the drawer is now open and sitting on the floor because it's going to take completely emptying it to try to find out whether it can be reassembled and fixed.

So now my overwhelm is coming from the environment and it is apparently coming from decluttering. I mean, if I hadn't ever started decluttering, I'd still have a mess but I'd also have an intact file drawer. (No, I don't really believe the answer is to stop decluttering. This is the blessed VOICE!)

Stepping back, I take this as progress in more ways than one. Tonight I'll tackle the file drawer and see what can be done. It may be time to rethink sheet music storage. Maybe a cabinet with shelves would be better than hanging file drawers.

MOI

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Author: sofaking6 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36082 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 1/3/2013 7:43 PM
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I sat on the couch and started in on the mail and by the time I had it opened and sorted into shred, recycle and file, I was totally overwhelmed and couldn't move. I texted my DD to tell her what was happening and she suggested I make a list and check things off to show myself that I was getting things done.


One thing that has helped me in the past is to just try and set a time limit and stick to it no matter what. I think I posted before that when I moved, I did my unpacking in the morning before work. That way, I had no choice but to stop when it was time to get ready. It was nice because 1) it ensured that I got something done every day and 2) it ensured that I also got my life done every day.

It also sounds like you (like me) are easily distracted during a task by seeing another task needing to be done and switching over to it. Try and tell yourself to keep on the task you decided to work on, and let other things go til later. It can be really really hard but it can also get better with some practice. If you keep switching activities, it's tough to accomplish the things you set out to do.


Good luck!
6

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 36083 of 37143
Subject: Re: Fighting the "Not Enough" Voice Date: 1/3/2013 8:48 PM
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It also sounds like you (like me) are easily distracted during a task by seeing another task needing to be done and switching over to it. Try and tell yourself to keep on the task you decided to work on, and let other things go til later. It can be really really hard but it can also get better with some practice. If you keep switching activities, it's tough to accomplish the things you set out to do.


Nail meets head.

Thanks. I'm working on it!

MOI

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