No. of Recommendations: 3
First, here's a hug.

Second, I'm so sorry. I had a very similar reaction some of the time when I had a herniated disc in my back.

Third, I don't know what to say or how to help. But I will say that my daughter and I have been through some very hard times together. A small story.

When she was about 18 months old, there was a moment when a whole bunch of things hit me all at once. It was a terrible time in my life, and though I'd been told to keep things as calm as I could for DD, I ended up sitting on the kitchen floor sobbing.

She did everything she could to comfort me. Patting my head, giving me a tissue, bringing me some Cheerios. When none of that worked, she grabbed my hand and pulled and pulled until I stood up, and led me to my brother, who was staying at the house at the time, saying, "Nonny. Hep. Nonny. Hep. Nonny hep."

Nonny is her name for my brother, and "Hep" was the best she could do for "Help."

My brother, being the person he is, said, "What's the matter with YOU?" And rather than explain it all, I just asked if he would play with DD for a while until I calmed down. Then I went and cried until I couldn't cry anymore, got a glass of water, and went back to being Mama as well as I could be.

So, what I'm trying to say is, life is sad and hard sometimes. A lot of times, in fact. Kids learn that one way or another, and the best thing you can do now is to be clear that there's nothing they did wrong, that your eye is really hurting you and it makes you tired and scared, and that you are still Mom and you still love them, and they are still allowed to be kids.

One other thing. You said the surgery was in May. Now it's September, so three months or so. Please take the time to talk to a sympathetic medical professional. Major life changes happen, and they can usually point you in good directions to get some help with coping. A nurse-practitioner may be more helpful than a doctor, depending on the specialty you're in, as they seem to have more "whole person" training than many doctors do. But either way, you deserve to have some help with this situation.

And last thing, promise. Don't give up! Not yet, anyway. I know you regret the surgery, but that doesn't mean there is no hope at all. Again, that sympathetic medical professional who can look at the whole person may be able to give you some ideas that a specialist could not.

ThyPeace, suffers from entirely too many ailments these days.
Print the post  


When Life Gives You Lemons
We all have had hardships and made poor decisions. The important thing is how we respond and grow. Read the story of a Fool who started from nothing, and looks to gain everything.
Contact Us
Contact Customer Service and other Fool departments here.
Work for Fools?
Winner of the Washingtonian great places to work, and Glassdoor #1 Company to Work For 2015! Have access to all of TMF's online and email products for FREE, and be paid for your contributions to TMF! Click the link and start your Fool career.