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Last week of October in Salem obviously means the streets are filled with people. It's fun -- as long as we get our empty streets back on November 1. Yesterday I took my kids downtown, through the throngs, got them well exhausted with all the fun climbing things set up on the Common, just enjoying playing tourist three blocks from home. All the perks, none of the parking hassles. Very sweet.

Of course, all types of people show up. Most are there for Halloween fun. This is the one place and one time of year all the goths and witches can dress comfortably and not be stared at. However, the Christian presence was overwhelming this year. There was a Christian rap group set up in the drained East India fountain. I'm talking stiff, no talent, as far as you can get from Eminem white boy rappers -- excruciating. Some other church was selling lobster rolls. I love lobster rolls, but I'd rather get one from my favorite fish market where every fifth word is NOT an expletive. Yet another church was having an "Angel Raffle." No, they were not raffling off real angels -- I'd buy a ticket if that was the case -- but those cutesy blah things guaranteed to piss a real angel off. According to the bible, Satan was originally the archangel Lucifer, but I thought it best not to remind them of that.

The icing on the cake, though was the wandering self appointed minister of a church located only in his own mind passing out YOU ARE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL leaflets. He waved one in my direction, and when I shook my head and tried to move on (there were a LOT of people in my way), he tried to hand one to my Little Guy. Excuse me? Since when is it acceptable to press something on a seven-year-old when his mother, who is holding his hand, turns it down? That was the last straw. Since using profanity (which I do very well) would only prove his point, whatever that was, I used terms he was more familiar with.


Wanna see a zealot look at you like you've got three heads?

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