fredinseoul:
I am discouraged.


Cheer up man! When I get down and out, letting life beat me down, I find it is usually because I'm focussing on the negatives instead of the positives.

Even if you don't FIRE before 59 1/2, think about what you have accomplished. More than likely, you will be well set for retirement on the (13% + 12% = 25%) of your net income you save. 59 is still young with many years of life to enjoy.

SeattlePioneer is famous for stating, and I believe he is correct on this, that RE'ing is a luxury and is difficult to do. Many things have to be going for you. Usually 2 or more of the following things must happen to get it done:

- spouse on board with you
- no kids or at least a disciplined approach to children's expenses
- high income
- LBYM
- a displined approach to investing
- plain luck (hitting that 10 bagger)
- inhertance
- no large medical expenditures

You could add to the list but that is the gyst of it. I'm not saying all of those things have to be in sync. For example, plenty of people on RECF have RE'd on a middle class income. But they LBYM, had no children or several other of the options above.

I initially had a spouse not on board with me to FIRE. She wanted to be a SAHM with our 3 kids until I hit normal retirement. We cussed and discussed it for years. When I was 40, I had calculated that if she began making an average salary of 30k, of which 20k was invested annually, we could both FIRE 8 years later when I hit my 48 birthday.

It was like trying to get blood from a rock. I was very discouraged and felt somewhat bitter about her freeloading off of me.

However 5 years later, she had a complete change of mind and is now working full-time and rapidly upping her salary. I won't FIRE when I'm 48, but 52-53 is very doable.

Why does your wife want a bigger house? FYI, we did the big house once. It had 3000 squ feet on 5 acres. I finally got tired of mowing and she got tired of cleaning 3000 squ ft and pulling weeds in the expensive landscaping. We downsized and are much happier now.

Perhaps a compromise is in order.

Respectfully,

decath