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Okay..it's been a really long weekend (okay two days)

Sunday, we went to my mom's house and did all her dishes and cleaned out her fridge and picked up library video tapes that need to go back, etc etc. I really had wanted to stay home on sunday, but that's what we ended up doing.

Monday morning, I got up, made some calls. (Managed to get a therapy appt for Wed 3:00) packed two days worth of stuff. Went to the hospital and stayed all day, then drove to Auburn to stay overnight, because the funeral was at 9 am tues morning. In the meantime, I got a chance to see a freinds band at the park on Monday night (6:30-8:30) It was a really nice break.

Tuesday morning we got up later than we wanted and had to rush to get to the funeral home. My sister has been a real flake the last couple of days and has managed to have us driving around in circles. (she won't let me drive.) My sister had potted plants, and a few pictures that she was supposed to drop of the night before, and wanted to get there early, but we ended up getting there at 8:45 or so.

We attended the funeral, the pastor was 1/2 late. I was holding up well until they played this one particular Aerosmith song that Jim liked. I kinda lost it after that. The service was... a bit different. (I wasnt really fond of the passages and the message the Pastor picked.) I kept thinking it's too quiet in here. Jim would be cracking jokes and stuff. He really wasn't the quiet type. I kept thinking. This is wrong, this is really wrong. My neice said she wanted to walk up and knock on the coffin. Which is something that Jim would do. He had a really strange dry sense of humor. Loved practical jokes. Anyway, we survived. We drove to the cemetary for the burial, then got our side of the family together for lunch.(Breakfast for some of us.) Then drove back to the hospital. (we had to change in the bathroom, because we weren't sure how mom would react to all of us dressed in black.)

She still doesn't really comprehend the accident. I think she's really blocking it out. She did ask about Jim yesterday. Something to the effect of If I'm in the hospital, then why isnt Jim in the hospital. My sister had to tell her he didnt make it, and my mom just said No. as if she didnt believe us. So she's still blocking it out I guess.

She was much better today. They weren't giving her morphine. She was more lucid, and holding normal type conversations. The finally moved her into another room on the lower floor around 4:30pm or so. She was much happier after that, because she was in a real room, and not in the ICU in a curtained room across from the nurses station. She said she could probably get some sleep in this room. She said she was bored. We promised to bring her some Books on tape, and some music and such to listen too. She didn't want the TV cause she said it just had crap on it anyway. We are going to hook up her phone tomorrow. Hopefully, she won't be calling Taiwan or something.

She apparently called my Dad this morning. Told him she wanted him to come up to the hospital and get her out. He said he didn't really recognize her voice. Since she can't move, she must have convinced one of the nurses to dial for her. (Dad says she called collect.) This was before we showed up. (about 1/2 hour before) When we got there, she was sleeping. She was better when she woke up. I bit more with it.

We'll have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.

Anyway, Ive got alot more email to write and relatives to notify. I'm going to have alot to talk to the therapist about tomorrow.

OH...and get this. I got a call from one of the temp agencies today on my voice mail. They want me to call them regarding a job. I'm not quite sure I'm really up to a job right now. Not even mentioning the fact, that I don't even have a car to drive. :P

*sigh* I'm going to bed early tonight, if I can. I really need some sleep.

Oops my watch is going off. Gotta go take my meds. Dont think I would have made it this far without them.

Lady I.

PS - I told my oldest brother and Sister in Law that I'm taking the Zoloft. They're the only ones in the family that know. They were really happy for me. My brother was on lithium for a while. He's had some problems too. (We are starting to think it's hereditary.)

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