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Gilder Report, 2003:

Williams takes on CDMA

As the sputtering GTR slows to its ultimate resting stop in the newsletter junkyard, we enter the last phase of fulfilling our excelsior promise of CDMA grandeur. Code division what*.??? No no silly, you've got it all wrong. The Complete Destruction of Managed Assets (CDMA) portfolio quakes as we add what may be the final deathblow to our savvy investors. But, instead of giving it to you right up front, let's analyze the history of this juggernaut of a subsidiary.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, the cosmic collision of a
GerryCurl and activator spewed forth a telespasmic messenger of seismic proportion. The one figure emboldened with a brave vision of a new future, seasoned with a hint of ghetto jive. I refer of course to the immortal, Billy Dee Williams, whose roles in the heart-wrenching "Brian's Song" and captivating "Lady Sings the Blues" helped shape a nation. The timely and ever so symbolic portrayal of Lando Calrissian won critical acclaim and arguably foreshadowed much of present day socio-economic strife. But the turning point of this young social engineer's life hinged on the simple combination of old west style and fine crafted malt liquor. You guessed it, Colt 45 was reborn.

Who could forget the helpful reminder from BD that at the end of a hard day, all your troubles can effortlessly fade into the sunset, like a GTR-based portfolio, as long as you've got yo'self a fine woman, and a forty of the best distilled spirit available.

The following morning, as we catch the last vestiges of the repo man driving off in our '76 El Dorado, we harken back to BD's advice from the previous night*."Works every time." Damn straight he was right! And 'fess up, how many of us did not fantasize about that Shlitz Malt Liqour Bull charging in on Billy Dee, only to have his jive ass handed to him by the master of cool, Mr. Williams?

And that's why Colt 45 makes the list. Colt is a subsidiary to the Pabst
brewing family (and really, you are family when holding a 45). After losing a supposed cool $100 mill, its nice to just pop the top, hold your brown bag proudly in the air and bask in the rays of CDMA.

If you want to unleash the true power of CDMA, just yell PBRmeASAP three times while simultaneously grabbing your ankles and renewing your GTR subscription.

In the immortal words of Billie Dee*…"Works every time."
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