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Author: aoeuid One star, 50 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 308782  
Subject: Re: Bankrupt or try to 'gut it out'? Date: 11/4/2012 10:50 AM
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Gingko100 wrote:

Whoops - I meant 2008 to 2009, not 2009 to 2010. No coffee yet here...
At any rate, the dynamics of risk and need for emergency fund remains the same.

And yeah, tconi - I keep saying I'm done with this, and come back. I really need to get to work today and stop rubbernecking this thread!

To which Dean says:

Gingko, I know the thread gets circular and stupid often and I apologize for that. However, the advice on the board has not gone in vain as far as making an impact in my life - here are a few things it has done for me, and thus make me hope/wish that you and others would stay:

1. Treat my wife better

2. No secret code about what is going on with OUR finances. The need for the wife and I to set short-term goals, long-term goals, and to TALK at less twice a week about what is going on with our finances.

3. The absolute need for us to be better organized (keeping track of our expenses, staying on a budget).

4. That her self-employed business of cleaning could very well be a God-send and therefore I need to be supportive of it, rather than trying to tear it down.

5. The obvious, LBOM's.

6. I already knew our communication 's*cked', but I was not aware of how much that fault is affecting our finances. I am fully aware that it already wrecks havoc with our marriage.

7. Marriage FIRST, then the finance stuff will be 'easier' to talk about.

8. That we both need to quit blaming the other (that is living in the past, that cannot be changed), but we can work TOGETHER to problem-solve for TODAY and the rest of the days in the future.

I'm sure I could come up with more, but school work calls me. I wrote this just to say . . . those of you that have contributed, I appreciate it very much. Even for those of you that 'don't like me' and therefore have some 'hard' things to say to me . . . its all go. I hold no grudges.

Some of you have written things that I am glad my wife, 'heard'. Because if I tried telling her those same exact things, they would get shot down immediately. She may act like this forum has no effect on her, but she is smart. And the smart posters that have toughed loved her (like those that have tough loved me) it has not been in vain. She may not respond. But she soaks it up and thinks about it.

It is nice to get an objective perspective from others. So, if you posters can keep chugging alone with us, I (Dean, the husband) would appreciate it. If you cannot, I perfectly understand and bear no grudge towards you and thank you for what you have offered in the past.

Finally, her is my promise. I think I have came down from my hypo-manic stage, therefore - my posts will be much less heated/mean-spirited. I'm really not a jerk. But Bi-Polar really is a mental health disease that can make us act like Jekyll and Hyde. If you see the bad me coming out - please quickly call me on it if you so desire. I would appreciate that.

Thanks to all.

Dean
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