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Author: xraymd Big gold star, 5000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 311074  
Subject: Re: Me vs. My Parents $40K Debt (Long) Date: 9/6/2004 2:11 PM
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Greetings, Kyle, you are showing uncommon common sense in coming here and being receptive to any and all input that you receive. Use what you can, and leave the rest! Already everybody in your family is receiving a benefit from having started to really take a deep look at these issues. I think what message is being conveyed here is that nobody is 100% right about what they know and what they do - and that's as true for any of us as posters as it may be for you. Perhaps the biggest life lesson (one I know I am still learning every day) really is humility about what we have to offer. I think you are doing a marvelous job.

I also agree with Mary who suggests cloaking your identity a bit more in your profile, given that you have made disclosures about others' circumstances not your own. That now becomes your resposibility to safeguard.

Further, lots of pride is poised to fall before all is said and done! So I echo the notion that while you have started this process off very well, indeed an independent financial planner (perhaps a consultation with an attorney specializing in estate planning?) could add to the well of knowledge that you have begun to develop and could steer your parents in effective directions none of you presently knows more about. Like mlk58 said, perhaps there are certain financial disclosures your parents may not have made to you. I think it is akin to a physician (which I am) treating her own family member - I am not permitted to write prescriptions for family - and the analogy could hold here, too, as in a future potential conflict of interest given that you are in the direct line of any future estate distributions! And I say that knowing full well that that is in no way your intention and never has been. Just a further consideration to why a level of indirection where advice to your parents is concerned may be a very good idea.

You are clearly very earnest and clearly want to help your parents as fully as possible - and that is admirable. I think by launching the discussions you have planted a very important seed. I further think that by coming back and posting again, even when you may have initially taken offense, shows that you are receptive to all input. That is going to be a great trait! Good luck on your move to the Islands.

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