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Author: dereksas Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 681  
Subject: Re: "Father" in child's life or not (k Date: 4/1/2001 3:09 PM
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>>> "Most dads do not stay away from kids because thewy don't like their kids, it's because they don't like the kid's mom.

Baloney."

I have to jump on here and say that I agree with Sarah, at least as far as what my experience indicates.

It's difficult for me when my kids ask why my STBX left. What am I supposed to say? "Well, son(s), your mom was tired of being a full-time mom so she decided to live on her own so that she can have a more excitment/fun and 'celebrate life' and dad won't let her live here because she now has a boyfriend who gives her what she wants" (these are HER words).

Now before anyone says that mine is an exceptional case, I would say that we all realize that having kids is probably the biggest and most monumental change that people go though in their lives. "Getting married", although big, pales in comparison. Lots of people (male and female) are not ready for such a change, whether they find out right away or years later. I would argue that while interpersonal problems between couples would seem to be the easiest explanation for broken families, there are usually deeper problems that cause them. Some people are just not cut out for being a parent, and my understanding is that this (running away from life, not the SO) is very common.

Distasteful [interpersonal] environment?? Get real. Arguments and "not getting along" seem so trivial and "at the surface"...there are much more deeper forces at play.

IMHO, anyway...

--Derek
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