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Author: Kilbia Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 21259  
Subject: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/14/2002 10:24 AM
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Joke of the day on World Wide Recipes e-zine:

Two women were discussing marriage and one said, "We've been married
ten years, and every night my husband has complained about dinner.
Not one night without complaining about the food." The other woman
said, "That's awful. Doesn't it bother you?" The first one said,
"Not in the slightest." Said the other woman, "You must be a saint!"
To which the first woman replied, "Why should I object? A lot of
people don't like their own cooking."


I'm kind of this way myself. No matter how much positive feedback I get from my husband about how dinner turned out, it's very rare that I really, truly enjoy anything I've cooked. Food just plain tastes better when I'm not the one who made it.

Has anyone ever heard an explanation for this phenomenon? I've got a couple of theories:

- I don't actually enjoy cooking as much as I like to tell myself I do

- It's impossible for me to relax and enjoy the dish because I will keep remembering all the exertion that went into it and all the things that didn't go precisely as planned or stated

- (at the risk of sounding too witchy here) I put some quantity of personal energy into each dish, meaning I deplete myself when I cook. So when *I* eat my cooking, I'm simply replenishing what I lost in the effort, whereas when someone else eats it, they're basically getting freebie energy from me

- Similar to the above, the personal energy I've invested means the dish is intimately familiar to me and therefore isn't as stimulating as something somebody else cooked. Kind of like giving yourself a scalp massage versus having someone else give you one.

Anyway, I'm rambling, but I do think this is at least a little bit pertinent to this board. Any other insights?

- Kilbia
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Author: SRHCB Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2184 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/14/2002 10:34 AM
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I LOVE my own cooking.

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Author: ataxwitch Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2185 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/14/2002 10:38 AM
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Hmmm... Interesting post!

I actually cook to relax. I decided not to become a chef (Mom was offering all expense paid course at Le Cordon Bleu) because if cooking was my job, what was I going to do to relax? I had way dumber reasons not to go to France, but that really is the reason I didn't study Culinary Arts anywhere else.

I get a lot of fulfillment from the act of preparing food. It satisfies all of my senses, hearing less than the others but how fun is the sound of steak sizzling on the grill? I see your point about putting your personal energy into the food, and I do that too, I think any good cook does, but I don't feel drained by it. Maybe it's because I vent excess energy that way and feel a sense of peace instead?

Not sure. But it's an excellent question. One I know I'll think about when I make dinner tonight! =0D

ataxwitch
*Not a chef

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Author: nparsn Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2186 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/14/2002 10:56 AM
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I'm kind of this way myself. No matter how much positive feedback I get from my husband about how dinner turned out, it's very rare that I really, truly enjoy anything I've cooked. Food just plain tastes better when I'm not the one who made it.

I usually enjoy what I cook, but I totally understand what you mean. Food is just not the same when you cook it vs. when someone else cooks it.

- (at the risk of sounding too witchy here) I put some quantity of personal energy into each dish, meaning I deplete myself when I cook. So when *I* eat my cooking, I'm simply replenishing what I lost in the effort, whereas when someone else eats it, they're basically getting freebie energy from me

At the risk of sounding witchy too, I fully understand and agree with this reason. It make perfect sense, amazing.

nparsn

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Author: TMFShogun Two stars, 250 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2187 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/14/2002 11:09 AM
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Hi there,

First post here, but I had to jump in because this happens to me at times, though I think it's getting better. One of the reasons on your list, Kilbia, really jumps out.

It's impossible for me to relax and enjoy the dish because I will keep remembering all the exertion that went into it and all the things that didn't go precisely as planned or stated

I am a recovering perfectionist and I always did my best to follow recipes exactly (keep in mind, I am recovering, so that's why I'm here on Gestalt now ;) and when the outcome doesn't look (!!) or taste like I imagined it would, I complain about the food and don't enjoy it as much. I have been trying to get over this and I find that when I just let it go, I can enjoy eating the food I made.

Intriguing point mentioning energy, too.... I can see this being a factor too, somewhat differently for me though. It's like I just spent so much time putting the food together that I don't want to expend anymore time with it (oh, but then I get hungry).

:-)
Shogun

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Author: Wilsonsjulie Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2188 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/14/2002 11:28 AM
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. Food just plain tastes better when I'm not the one who made it.


I agree. and I think that that is why restaurants do such great business. Just savoring the food without all the work before and after can be such a treat!

This past summer, each member of my household took a turn at dinner one night each week ( there are five of us). Although I was kitchen slave many times to the budding chefs here, it was so great to be served food that I didnt actually have to plan, execute and serve, myself. It is fun to have someone else's cooking intrepretation for the meal.

~j

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Author: StarWarriorRie Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2189 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/14/2002 11:37 AM
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I get a lot of fulfillment from the act of preparing food. It satisfies all of my senses, hearing less than the others but how fun is the sound of steak sizzling on the grill? I see your point about putting your personal energy into the food, and I do that too, I think any good cook does, but I don't feel drained by it. Maybe it's because I vent excess energy that way and feel a sense of peace instead?

Not sure. But it's an excellent question. One I know I'll think about when I make dinner tonight! =0D

ataxwitch
*Not a chef


What she said. <G>

StarWarrior-Rie


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Author: AgentMitten Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2190 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/14/2002 12:35 PM
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I'm in the middle on this one. I like my own cooking just fine, and generally enjoy eating what I make. But I very very much appreciate it when others make food for me. Not so much in a restaurant, but especially so when I friend or loved one prepares something for me.

I know I express my affection to others by cooking for them sometimes (or in the case of my kids, all the time) and I guess that I assume that when others are cooking for me, they are doing the same thing. That makes everything taste better.

Mitten

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Author: FUMoney Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2191 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/14/2002 3:07 PM
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I'm a first poster here also. I had to put my 2 cents in on this question. My wife and I always discuss this phenomenon. It happens to both of us! Cooking is one of the only things I do that total relaxes me. My own opinion is when you prepare the food, you taste as you go along to adjust seasonings or to check the balance of the dish. When you sit down to eat, there are really no great surprises for you. But the person you serve it to gets the big bang. They can taste to try and figure out all the clever ;) things you did! Occasionally something comes out "just right" and what I mean by this is that the meal also meets the preconceived idea of the person who prepared the dish.

Ed

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Author: Joolieblue Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2192 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/14/2002 7:40 PM
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I really only feel that way on major holidays when noone else has participated and I am exhausted.

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Author: AlisonWonderland Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2193 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/14/2002 9:35 PM
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kitchen slave many times to the budding chefs here, it was so great to be served food that I didnt actually have to plan, execute and serve, myself.

I've posted this before but I think it's worth doing it again:

I have a vision of visiting my kids for dinner someday when they are on their own. They have made a lovely and complex dinner with a variety of exotic and interesting dishes.

As they place the serving dishes on the beautifully set table, I calmly look at the offerings and say

.

.

.

"Do I have to eat that? What else is there? Can't we order pizza?"

~~ Alison

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Author: photon99 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2194 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/14/2002 10:21 PM
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"Do I have to eat that? What else is there? Can't we order pizza?"

ROFL!!

You forgot, "I don't like it! [even though I have never tried it] " Our first several children were beheaded before the current two learned to say, "May I please have cereal instead?"

;-D

PS Given the Yates trial, maybe that isn't funny; let me just clarify that we have only ever had these two children. :-O

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Author: ngg Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2195 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/15/2002 12:16 AM
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First post here, but I had to jump in because this happens to me at times, though I think it's getting better. One of the reasons on your list, Kilbia, really jumps out.

It's impossible for me to relax and enjoy the dish because I will keep remembering all the exertion that went into it and all the things that didn't go precisely as planned or stated.

I am a recovering perfectionist and I always did my best to follow recipes exactly (keep in mind, I am recovering, so that's why I'm here on Gestalt now ;) and when the outcome doesn't look (!!) or taste like I imagined it would, I complain about the food and don't enjoy it as much. I have been trying to get over this and I find that when I just let it go, I can enjoy eating the food I made.


Hi Shogun, welcome to Gestalt! Based on your post, I'm sure you're going to like it here. We'll be happy to help in your recovery, since many of us don't use recipes and still manage to come up with perfectly wonderful meals.

I know what you mean about feelings of dissatisfaction with a dish you've prepared. I had one of those experiences tonight, forgot a critical component, and it just didn't taste right to me. RealNGG enjoyed it, but I would have enjoyed it a lot more if I hadn't made that one slip. Fortunately, I don't have to cook that often, and mostly get to be on the other side of the table (from which I am able to kibbitz)!

Once again, welcome. I'm sure we'll all enjoy sharing in your recovery,

;'D
Cori
Hostess d'Gestalt


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Author: ngg Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2196 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/15/2002 1:02 AM
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Wow, two new "faces" in one day! A warm welcome to you, Ed!

Cooking is one of the only things I do that total relaxes me.

I think RealNGG would agree with you. How much I enjoy cooking, OTOH, depends on my mood and how much time I have for the process. If I'm hurried, I won't enjoy either the activity or the outcome as much as if I'm not time-pressured.

My own opinion is when you prepare the food, you taste as you go along to adjust seasonings or to check the balance of the dish. When you sit down to eat, there are really no great surprises for you. But the person you serve it to gets the big bang.

I suppose that's true, unless you've cooked a casserole or baked dish that can't be tried in intermediate stages. But the cook gets to enjoy the other diners' appreciation of the delicious meal and accept the kudos to which s/he is entitled!

Glad to have you with us,

Cori


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Author: Thigmotrope Big gold star, 5000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2197 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/15/2002 1:54 AM
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"Do I have to eat that? What else is there? Can't we order pizza?"

*****
(laughter)

When she was a teenager, one of the big things my elder daughter used to relate as proof positive that I was a cruel and unusual mother is that I seved her and her sister squid on several occassions and did not tell her ahead of time what it was.

Now- as an adult, in street fairs and restaurant outings- one of her favorite dishes is calamari.

Likewise- she would only eat California rolls when we went to a sushi restaurant- now she is more adventurous.

I never really worried too much about it then, one way or the other. But I must admit her expanded tastes as an adult give me glee.


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Author: AlisonWonderland Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2198 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/15/2002 7:04 AM
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one of her favorite dishes is calamari.

I remember a friend telling me that the grownups would have "calamari" and enjoy it immensely. The kids weren't allowed to have it, and didn't even know it was squid. The parents' enjoyment of it, though, drove the kids nuts. The old forbidden fruit idea -- by the time they were considered mature enough to appreciate it, they'd already decided they loved it.

~~ Alison

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Author: ChocoKitty Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2199 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/15/2002 8:17 AM
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The kids weren't allowed to have it, and didn't even know it was squid. The parents' enjoyment of it, though, drove the kids nuts. The old forbidden fruit idea -- by the time they were considered mature enough to appreciate it, they'd already decided they loved it.

For some reason, this reminds me of "Kitchen Confidential", when a 10-year old Anthony Bourdain had to wait in the car for 3 hours with his brother while his parents enjoyed a meal at a 3-star French restaurant. From then on, so the story goes, he decided to try every food in sight ("I'll show them...."), including raw oysters.

Ah, fun with kids and food. I do believe that children can have more sophisticated palates than we give them credit for.

CK

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Author: TMFRavynous Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2200 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/15/2002 9:39 AM
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I had one of those experiences tonight, forgot a critical component, and it just didn't taste right to me. RealNGG enjoyed it, but I would have enjoyed it a lot more if I hadn't made that one slip.

Cori,

You were cooking and it wasn't Thanksgiving?

Rav faints.

Cori administers smelling salts, and helps a gagging, coughing Rav to his feet.

So what did you fix, and what did you leave out?

So far as the main gist of the thread goes, I agree, I seldom enjoy what I fix, and often eat portions of the meal. Since I do the shopping, cooking, and cleaning up, I'm worn out by the time the food is done. For whatever reason, it's usually the meat I don't eat. Don't ask I don't know, it's just that's what hits me. -

Rav





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Author: ChocoKitty Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2202 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/15/2002 12:04 PM
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I understand how you feel, especially when I bake. After being surrounded by the scent of my own baking, I lose my appetite for anything I make until a day or two later.

I think we all tend to be our own worst critics too when it comes to cooking. We know every detail of our dish, so we tend to focus on what went wrong rather than just sitting back and enjoying it. You're onto something on that personal energy concept as well. One reason why I loved the movie and book "Like Water for Chocolate" so much is because I really believe that it's possible to communicate your energy to others through your cooking.

Sorry, not too coherent today....

CK


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Author: AgentMitten Big red star, 1000 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2203 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/15/2002 12:24 PM
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I do believe that children can have more sophisticated palates than we give them credit for.

My oldest child (6) loves asparagus. My youngest (4) loves, and I mean, really really loves, nova lox. He especially likes it in an omelette with cream cheese, but eats it straight too.

Haven't been able to convince them on sushi, though.

Mitten

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Author: OleDocJ Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2204 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/15/2002 5:51 PM
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I know what you mean about feelings of dissatisfaction with a dish you've prepared. I had one of those experiences tonight, forgot a critical component, and it just didn't taste right to me.

A twist from my archives... Several years ago I got "creative" in an attempt to make mashed potatoes a little more nourishing and added some plain yogurt (instead of sour cream). I thought it tasted fine and the boys thought it tasted fine, but The Bitch From Hell was outraged that I would put yogurt in mashed potatoes. She grabbed up the boys' plates and scraped the potatoes into the sink and then dumped the rest of the bowl down the sink.

I can't remember whether that was Strike Two or Strike Three...


OleDoc


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Author: OleDocJ Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2205 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/15/2002 6:07 PM
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Ah, fun with kids and food. I do believe that children can have more sophisticated palates than we give them credit for.

Wow! Now that's a topic that could be really interesting! No doubt their taste buds are just as sensitive but the signals from the taste receptors have to be processed in the brain in order to create a perception/concept of taste. Initially the young brain is quite naieve about processing information from taste receptors (except for milk/formula). It takes time to develop those neural networks which allow one to "appreciate" complex tastes.


OleDoc


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Author: photon99 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2206 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/15/2002 6:16 PM
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Several years ago I got "creative" in an attempt to make mashed potatoes a little more nourishing and added some plain yogurt (instead of sour cream). I thought it tasted fine and the boys thought it tasted fine, but The Bitch From Hell was outraged that I would put yogurt in mashed potatoes. She grabbed up the boys' plates and scraped the potatoes into the sink and then dumped the rest of the bowl down the sink.

Great Scott Doc! What were you thinking? Don't you know you should have been spending the yogurt money on gambling and floozies instead of putting your children in harm's way like that? What's the world coming to?

photon
*mutter, mutter, smack that BfH*

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Author: ngg Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2207 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/16/2002 1:17 AM
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No doubt their taste buds are just as sensitive but the signals from the taste receptors have to be processed in the brain in order to create a perception/concept of taste. Initially the young brain is quite naieve about processing information from taste receptors (except for milk/formula). It takes time to develop those neural networks which allow one to "appreciate" complex tastes.

Then there's my niece. She starting eating whatever her parents were eating at a very young age. She was not especially interested in baby food and would eat almost anything. I watched this child eat raw onions, tortilla chips dipped in hot sauce, fresh tuna and almost anything her Uncle cooked.

She's now four, and her tastes have become far more conservative, more typical of her age, and she's likely to announce "It's yucky" without even tasting it, and Mac&Cheese is a dietary staple. Seems like her neural networks are headed in the wrong direction! ;')

Cori


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Author: AlisonWonderland Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2208 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/16/2002 7:09 AM
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Haven't been able to convince them on sushi, though.

Well, do they like rice? If so, maybe the youngest would like smoked salmon sushi. Maybe not yet, but there's time.

Speaking of sushi, I asked my older teenage son if he wanted me to pick up anything at the food store -- he asked for sushi, and like the smoked salmon one the best. I know grocery store sushi isn't ideal, and maybe he's just sick of dorm food, but it was certainly better than requests for soda and junk food.

~~ Alison

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Author: ngg Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2210 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/16/2002 7:01 PM
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You were cooking and it wasn't Thanksgiving?

Rav faints.

Cori administers smelling salts, and helps a gagging, coughing Rav to his feet.

So what did you fix, and what did you leave out?


LOL, Ravyn, LOL! Now, I don't cook ONLY on Thanksgiving, y'know. Sometimes I cook on Thursday nights too. Both days start with Th, though, so I can see how you might have been confused. <G,D,R>

What I made was pizza. Not your ordinary, everyday pizza - I'm not especially fond of pizza with Italian red sauce, and have constructed my own rather unique "deep-dish" variety. It's not really deep-dish, since I use a pre-made, thin Boboli crust, but it ends up thick and dense, the crust merely the vehicle for the topping.

The topping: You must understand that this varies from making to making, and depends a lot on what we happen to have on hand. The bottom layer is always a shredded carrot, usually sprinkled with chopped sundried tomatoes. Frequently I arrange broccoli spears in a circle around the perimeter, the heads forming an outer "wall" that holds the rest of the topping in. I'll usually slice up the broccoli stem and toss that in the middle. Then, some mushrooms, perhaps, and if we have any, some chopped pepper salami (we didn't), and it's time for a light layer of cheese (shredded mozzarella and, optionally, pepper jack). Next layer, some red and/or green pepper and onion slices, black olives, another layer of cheese. That I'll top with some chopped marinated artichoke hearts, mild pepper rings, and a final layer of cheese, with some parmesan/other dried cheese mixed in.

I spray the crust with a little olive oil (to inhibit drying out and burning) and pop into the oven for 20-30 minutes, or until it looks done. Take out and let rest for a few minutes, the slice and serve.

So what did I forget this time? The shredded carrots! Now lest you think that that was no big deal, in the baking process the carrots cook and add a delightful sweetness and complexity to the topping, and I really missed them. It was still good, but the pizza just didn't taste as interesting to me as it normally does.

Oh well, there's always next time...

Cori

BTW, a couple of years ago, a friend was visiting when I made this style pizza. She really enjoyed it, and envisioned it as a way to get her children to eat vegies. She tried it, and sure enough, the kids gobbled it down, and it became a staple of their diet.




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Author: AlisonWonderland Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 2218 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 3/17/2002 6:28 PM
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I don't cook ONLY on Thanksgiving, y'know. Sometimes I cook on Thursday nights too. Both days start with Th, though, so I can see how you might have been confused. <G,D,R>

And of course, Thanksgiving is always on a Thursday <g>.

~~ Alison

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Author: rvbradish Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3353 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 9/22/2002 12:06 PM
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"Food just plain tastes better when I'm not the one who made it."

Don't sweat the small stuff. Some folks just plain enjoy cooking, for themselves and/or for others, other folks DON'T, it's as simple as that. No reason to entertain any guilt feelings. Circumstances can, and do, make cooks out of all of us at times. After all, food IS a necessity of life.

Ray


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Author: rvbradish Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 3355 of 21259
Subject: Re: Has this happened to you? Date: 9/22/2002 12:29 PM
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"I can't remember whether that was Strike Two or Strike Three..."

Shoulda been Strike Thuh-ree, yer Out -- of here!

(Grin)

Ray

P.S. Dja ever hear the one about the old cowboy who was asked how he explained his long and successful marriage.

His reply: When I was a young cowboy, I decided to go to town one night and get married. Waal, I did, and picked out the youngest and prettiest of the girls. After the wedding ceremony, we loaded up the pack mule and started out for our new home. About halfway there, the probably overloaded mule stumbled, and I said "That's once". Almost home, and that mule stumbled again. Jumping off, I drew my six-shooter and said "dammit, that's twice", then shot that old mule dead.

My new wife didn't take very kindly to that state of affairs and proceeded to berate me quite soundly for quite a few minutes lamenting about the untimely demise of a perfectly good mule, and the state of my mental capacity for taking such a drastic action.

When she finally ran down, or stopped for breath, I said very quietly "That's once".

Y' know, come to think of it, I HAVE had a wonderful marriage ever since.

RVB


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