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Helen, Goody, wxgerr (how do you pronounce THAT?),

Imagine my delight to check in this morning and find an unexpected congrats! Thank you so much!! What an upper!

Yes, against all odds, I've got six months. It's been a long time - about five years - since I've been sober for this long. It feels really wonderful. I feel sane and hopeful.

I've gone through hell and high water, relapsing, paying HIGH dues, proving to myself time and time again that I can't control the monster, that after one drink, I'm out of control. The horrible highest price I've paid is the custody of my kids, though I haven't lost their love. And I have to thank God that my ex-spouse isn't an alcoholic or in any way drug dependent (though he did LOTS more than I did when we were young!). And the kids are coming to stay for August. If I stay sober, maybe I'll get some custody back, in addition to all the rest of the goodies that come with sobriety. My daughter is going to college this fall at Wm & Mary, so will be nearby, the better to rebuild bridges.

I don't really know what is different this time. Maybe I finally hit that proverbial "bottom" - medevaced from my overseas job assignment, rehab, etc. etc. But this wasn't the first medevac, nor the first rehab. I just came to the end of the line - and with lots of experience in losses and ways to deceive myself and relapse. And sicker than I think I've ever been. I was scared to DEATH that I'd just start drinking again. Like always. So I've stayed really AWARE of all thoughts of drink, any vague impulse, gone to the 90/90, got a sponsor again, working on the 4th step, doing all the right stuff. Got a fairly stress-free assignment back stateside. NOT going overseas again. Faced the fact that I need the stability of staying here.

Gotta get to work here. Lemme hear how y'all got sober ...

Lotsa love, Daffodil
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