Message Font: Serif | Sans-Serif
 
UnThreaded | Threaded | Whole Thread (39) | Ignore Thread Prev | Next
Author: karrylin Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 19483  
Subject: Re: Funding Care for My Mother Date: 3/3/2004 3:09 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 2
hey Cliff, I know exactly how you feel about Mom, its not a fun job but someone has to do it..
Re: find a Retirement Home. Type those words with the state in the search engine and so many will come up you wont know where to begin!

Better yet, go/call local hospital and ask a social worker who works with the elderly, if she has any recommendations. Also, call Hospice and if you are real nice, explaining your plight to them, they might suggest where to look. They are not supposed to suggest places, but sometimes they will point you in the right direction!
I found a place for my mom that was suggested by a Visiting Nurse. She sees all the Retirement Homes, Nursing Homes etc etc.
Also, plan on spending a day at each place. Eating the food, seeing how the staff treats everyone, how clean the residents are etc etc
Take a look at their activity calendar, then go to the room where this activity is being held. Is it really being held, or is that just so the facility looks good?
Yes, some places have FAKE activity calendars!
One place I looked into had FAKE Food Calendar!
Each day, of the month looked like Gourmet Magazine! I personally spoke to the chef! Everything seemed Marvelous!
Until...the three dinners in a row, that were french fries and grilled cheese! My mom was on a "special low fat diet" that the chef was going to even make "Low Salt" just for her and one other woman. He lied.

Be Bold, Assertive and let them know you expect the Best for your mom, Then to test it out, stay a full day. If the place is decent, they wont mind or act like you are in the way.
Yes, its tiring and boring, but remember your intention is NOT to dump Mom, but to make sure she is Safe, and eventually content in her new living quarters. ( my specialists tell me that takes Six Months. )

One lucky thing would be if your Mom actually had a hospitilization. My mom had eight in one year, so one day instead of taking her "home", I had an ambulance take her to her "new home, prescribed by her physician".
Let her doctor be "the bad guy" if he/she is willing to do that.

Also, Write this on your heart, "It is for her best".
She might never realize that, but that is WHY you have to do it for her, make the BEST decisions, because someone has to do it for her.
good luck and before you do all this, Have her tested, by an elder care pychologist to see if she has dementia and to what degree. You will get a much better idea of her health, and how able she really is to take care of herself, drive etc etc.

Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Print the post  
UnThreaded | Threaded | Whole Thread (39) | Ignore Thread Prev | Next

Announcements

Foolanthropy 2014!
By working with young, first-time moms, Nurse-Family Partnership is able to truly change lives – for generations to come.
When Life Gives You Lemons
We all have had hardships and made poor decisions. The important thing is how we respond and grow. Read the story of a Fool who started from nothing, and looks to gain everything.
Post of the Day:
Macro Economics

Economic Implications of Cuba
What was Your Dumbest Investment?
Share it with us -- and learn from others' stories of flubs.
Community Home
Speak Your Mind, Start Your Blog, Rate Your Stocks

Community Team Fools - who are those TMF's?
Contact Us
Contact Customer Service and other Fool departments here.
Work for Fools?
Winner of the Washingtonian great places to work, and "#1 Media Company to Work For" (BusinessInsider 2011)! Have access to all of TMF's online and email products for FREE, and be paid for your contributions to TMF! Click the link and start your Fool career.
Advertisement