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Author: StBridgit Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 308881  
Subject: Re: Sabotaged Date: 6/27/2007 5:03 PM
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Hey SoccerDad, you sort of knew it was coming, from previous posts. So, deep breath. *breath*

Ok. Let's address the two separate issues here: money, and marriage trust. First, of course you're mad, because you want to pay off this huge debt and that extra $220 sets you back a little bit. So, it's okay to be mad. Be mad! But, put that anger aside when you get home, because you know that being angry when discussing it with your DW is just going to make things worse for both of you. So, vent away here...but deal with the anger, and move on. It's a setback, not an end.

Second, I strongly suggest that you & DW go to counseling together, apart from her counseling about jobs, in order to discuss the money issues and the trust issues with a neutral third party. Your DW is going to need a lot of help getting it that this is not just about the MONEY. My impression from your prior posts is that she has big issues with control and spending...from whatever source, her injury & rehab, her innate personality...who knows, but she has these issues. It sounds like she just does not GET that it IS a trust issue, it IS about more than money, it IS about your marriage relationship and being united and committed to goals without undercutting each other.

It's going to be a long road, but if you perservere and enlist the help of a good marriage counselor, I think you can finally get DW to see beyond "just the money".

Good luck, you will need it!

StB.
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