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Author: Trifle One star, 50 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 308229  
Subject: Re: friends in dept Date: 11/4/1999 2:47 PM
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Hi all. I've been lurking for a while and enjoying the conversation. Thought I'd toss in a remark on this thread:

KMAC noted,
"It just seems like true, real, or important friendships would not be at risk of serious damage from such a gift."

The sentiment does you credit. But I think that when people are feeling inwardly ashamed, tense, anxious and defensive about something they may not be ready to receive or appreciate what their friends might have to give.
In fact, my oldest friend is being cool toward me right now because I foolishly (or maybe I should say *tactlessly*) mentioned that I was totally out of debt. Then I burbled on about how it can be done and books and research etc. I made the mistake of assuming my buddy of many years would enter in to the enthusiasm and be on fire to get in control. Uh, no.
My friend had been comfortably rationalizing the situation by saying "It's always this way. Everybody does it. It's normal." Finding out that I didn't have the same burden of worry was a rude surprise. I burst a bubble of denial and boy, that's a thankless act. ;)
As far as our friendship, I'm hanging in there, remembering tact! And waiting for my friend to process this turn of events and sort out priorities and values. Long term investing?

Trif
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