No. of Recommendations: 3
Hi Fagen,

I'm so glad to see your post. Thanks for coming back and for your honesty.

I second everything Gapfan said. I'm an alcoholic. That's established. I've been watching people straggle in and out of meetings for 24 years. Seems you're pretty sure that you are, too. I'm also a certified alcoholism counselor, a career I turned to from law after I got sober. So from both perspectives -- personal and professional -- I have concluded that alcoholics who continue drinking usually die. I started to think of it as Miss America, starting with 50 people and narrowing down to one. Maybe a particular alcoholic makes it through one elimination round, but that doesn't mean s/he will make it through the next one. That one person -- me, Gapfan, you -- has a certain responsibility to the other 49, who are dead or in institutions. Think you have it tough?? They'd love to trade places with you!

I guess my point is that I engaged in a *lot* of dangerous, scary behavior when I was drinking and using other drugs. At the time, I thought, Oh, I'm not dead, so I guess it's okay to drive drunk and sleep with people I don't know and take drugs I don't recognize and... and... fill in the blanks. Later, I realized that *most* people who did those things actually *did* die. I was the statistical fluke. I was Miss America. Hey, you've seen Miss America. They all look the same; the lucky one wins. I was very lucky, not smarter or faster or prettier. Just lucky.

Please keep in touch, no matter what you do. I have found it helpful to report in once a day, and this is a great forum for that. Talk about anonymous! Meetings and face-to-face talks are best, but the goal is progress.

For me to stay sober, I have to be communicating with other alcoholics. So look at it this way -- you're doing us a favor, not vice versa!


P.S. If there's ever anything you want to say or ask, but not on a public site, please feel free to E mail me. I bet Gapfan would accept that, too. When you click Post Reply, you see under your reply three boxes. Usually only Post this reply to the Boards is checked. Un-check that, and check E-mail this Reply to the Author. Then your reply will go ONLY to the person and not the entire board. Feel free to test it first if the whole process seems a little suspicious. BB
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