I was introduced to slot machines (we call them Poker Machine here) when I was 14 years old.Back in those days, (although illegal for such a young person) we could play the 'one armed bandits' all day and still walk away with more money than we came with.Allow me to skip a few years:...................Gambling didn't dominate my life, and I also didn't drink. At 23, 30th August,1980, I married Peter. He had never lived away from home before. He was cute, he was nice, he treated me OK however, pay day, we had to go and challenge the 'bandits'.The worst began when I did a Hospitality Course and got a job (my fav. out of ALL of them) working at a Golf Club.It didn't take long before Peter would 'knock off' from his job & make B-line to my work place.Long story short: I lost my Job because I allowed him to take my wages, as I was working and 'blow' the money in the slot machines.Crazy as it may sound, and it really was none of their business, I was sacked!!!! I have heard the truth since, but that's beside the POINT!:o)I am now into the 90's....actually lets admit, 1997. I was divorced.Left my daughters abusive father and moved in with my Mother & Grandmother. 2 years! I took advantage of a 'live-in' baby sitter. My daughter was only 2 years old.I gambled on the slots. Once again, we used to get a 'run' for our money. This is 1987-1989Finally, at the time I hated my Grandmother, me & my daughter was kicked out, right on Christmas.I found a place to live for me & my daughter, so, it's amazing what we can do if we have to.THE PAIN: I have always been a responsible person....Paid the rent, done the grocery shopping, paid the bills etc. I'm a SAINT!:o)Iam 47 years old now, this is how long it's taken to hit 'ROCK BOTTOM', responsibility kinda flushed itself down the toilet!, and now remember the times when my little girl asked me if she could have an Ice Cream and I said "Mummy can't afford it". Gambling is a progressive disease. It is no different to any other addiction.We are not BAD PEOPLE, we just have no control over our WILLpower.We feel pain and Gambling gives us relief for a short time.What is our PAIN?....Not the family & the ones that love us. It is the addiction we feed, always looking for a WIN to make life easier.To call an addiction 'complex' is an understatement.There are so many addictions however, HERE, we will focus on Gambling.I have a lot more to share and proud of myself to speak out.This board is for YOU.This board is for ME.There is no shame, just truth if you are prepared to accept the first step to recovery:1st step: We admitted we were powerless over gambling, that our lives had become unmanageable.I am looking forward to your posts :o)Support is only a click away.That is all for now.KEZ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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