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Author: MissEdithKeeler Big gold star, 5000 posts Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 37123  
Subject: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 7:58 AM
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Have we talked about the show "Hoarders" on A&E? Just caught it for the first time. Very different from the "Clean House" show... kind of "Clean House" combined with "Intervention"....

On the one hand, I find it a bit distasteful to watch these obviously damaged people putting their lives on display for the public...on the other hand, the voyeur in me is fascinated.

And grateful it's not me...

Last night featured a lady in her 60's, the daughter of a garbageman who'd always brought stuff home. Her husband is an alcholic, she's got a daughter who is mentally ill (and with hoarding propensities), and another daughter with leukemia. The house was so unlivable that social services had taken her husband out of the home. The house was packed, the backyard was a disaster... and they showed her testing a battery, declaring it was dead, and then putting it into a drawer to keep.
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Author: LuckyDog2002 Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30269 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 8:47 AM
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i need to watch that show for motivation....i get stuck in inertia alot...or the hamster wheel of indecision, lack of motivation and low energy.

when does it come on?

LD

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Author: Gingko100 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30274 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 11:37 AM
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It's very sad if you know someone who is actually like this. I'm sure some of us do, and don't know it. My friend who is a hoarder is to all outward appearances normal. Except for the fact that she cannot invite anyone to her home as it is literally impassable, she appears bright, engaged, on top of things. Yet she has this habit that is unbreakable.

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Author: madamhusker1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30275 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 11:41 AM
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I know the feeling. Have immediate family members who are hoarders, and there is nothing we kids can do to help or stop them. Their house has been condemned, and for nearly a year, they've either lived in an extended-stay motel, the hospital, (various ailments,) nursing facility, or rehab/assist place.


An unapologetic drain on society.



MH 1


~ hard to have sympathy for these two... sowing a lifetime of ugliness has left them a bitter harvest.

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Author: karenlj Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30276 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 3:08 PM
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hard to have sympathy for these two... sowing a lifetime of ugliness has left them a bitter harvest

I do have sympathy for them. I believe this is a mental illness, but because they are able to function quite successfully in the rest of their lives, their behavior is regarded as a choice. I believe it's compulsive and nearly impossible to control.

Karen

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Author: Windowseat Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30277 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 3:24 PM
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I do have sympathy for them. I believe this is a mental illness, but because they are able to function quite successfully in the rest of their lives, their behavior is regarded as a choice. I believe it's compulsive and nearly impossible to control.

I've read a couple of articles that included it among the Obssessive-Compulsive Disorders (along with animal hoarding), but recently some therapists are taking a new look at it.

That's why, even when the house has been cleaned up and looks beautiful with all the new furniture, all I can see is a wallet filled with bills and the same habit starting all over again.

Nancy

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Author: madamhusker1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30278 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 5:28 PM
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Unfortunately, they are *not* able to function successfully in life.


Their lack of planning, and poor decision-making, is someone else's fault. Always.



They want control over everything/everyone else, but refuse to practice any self-control.


Manipulation is a lifeskill they have perfected like no one else.



MH 1

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Author: madamhusker1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30279 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 5:31 PM
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I know that makes me sound like a heartless *itch, but if you met them, you'd understand.




MH 1

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Author: GuildWarsQueen Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30280 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 5:33 PM
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I want to watch it. I even have an episode saved on Tivo. I'm afraid to see it because I'm scared that the houses featured will look too much like mine. :(

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30281 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 5:35 PM
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I want to watch it. I even have an episode saved on Tivo. I'm afraid to see it because I'm scared that the houses featured will look too much like mine. :(

I've seen photos of your house.

No way. Not even.

MOI

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Author: GuildWarsQueen Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30282 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 5:36 PM
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Unfortunately, they are *not* able to function successfully in life.


Their lack of planning, and poor decision-making, is someone else's fault. Always.



They want control over everything/everyone else, but refuse to practice any self-control.


Manipulation is a lifeskill they have perfected like no one else.


It sounds like the have serious issues in addition to the hoarding. Even in other environments they're still messed up.

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Author: n8larson Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Ticker Guide Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30283 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 5:50 PM
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I'm scared that the houses featured will look too much like mine. :(

Hey... new here, and maybe you've covered this, but I'm inclined to believe that if folks are together enough to discuss their need to get organized rationally in this forum, then they're on the sane side of the fence that divides the real world from the OCD/sleeves-in-the-back lalaland populated by the "hoarders" shown on TV. It sounds to me like there's a real fine line (as opposed to a gray area) separating those with a little clutter problem from those who can't physically move around their house because they save dead batteries.

-n8 (engineer with a minor packrat tendency, lucky to be married to a champion Minimizer. howdy.)

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30284 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 5:55 PM
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It sounds to me like there's a real fine line (as opposed to a gray area) separating those with a little clutter problem from those who can't physically move around their house because they save dead batteries.


Um, how are you defining a fine line? That sounds scarier to me than having a gray area, frankly.

MOI

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Author: Windowseat Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30285 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 7:30 PM
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Um, how are you defining a fine line? That sounds scarier to me than having a gray area, frankly.

I'd say there was a nice big line. People who can acknowledge that they have an issue, and who are at least looking for help in dealing with that issue, are not in any real danger of becoming hoarders.

Nancy
but I'm not going to discuss the books. Or the yarn.

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30286 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 7:33 PM
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Um, how are you defining a fine line? That sounds scarier to me than having a gray area, frankly.

I'd say there was a nice big line. People who can acknowledge that they have an issue, and who are at least looking for help in dealing with that issue, are not in any real danger of becoming hoarders.


My point exactly.

but I'm not going to discuss the books. Or the yarn.

Wise.

MOI

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Author: MissEdithKeeler Big gold star, 5000 posts Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30287 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 8:35 PM
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i need to watch that show for motivation....i get stuck in inertia alot...or the hamster wheel of indecision, lack of motivation and low energy.

when does it come on?



All info here, and I think you can watch some episodes online.

http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/

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Author: Windowseat Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30288 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 9:12 PM
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ohmigod.

At the end of May my mother had a fall, and there was a unanimous decision among her three children that she needed to move into assisted living. We got her moved into the new apartment by August 19th. She has been complaining that she was a terrible packrat, and should not have kept a lot of the things she did.

We are talking about several boxes in the attic and one four-drawer file cabinet. By the end of August 21st the only major things left to do involved hanging the pictures, and working through the last of the 'to be discarded" pile.

She would have had a heart attack if she had ever seen any of those videos. It simply would never have crossed her mind that people lived like that.

My SIL, by the way, organized almost the entire event, starting with calling the EMT within seconds after the fall, through tracking down the right assisted living place, taking Mom to doctors, negotiating with the movers, and everything else. She simply organizes things. She got it from her mother. (You should see family vacations. Everyone gets a spreadsheet. Even the people who aren't going).

Nancy
who clearly has to do something about the books, the yarn and the totebags.

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Author: Stillaballnchain Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30289 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 9:42 PM
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Or the yarn.

THE YARN DOESN'T COUNT!!!

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Author: Windowseat Big funky green star, 20000 posts Feste Award Nominee! Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30290 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 9:45 PM
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THE YARN DOESN'T COUNT!!!

You haven't seen it. I think it's plotting world domination. But at least it's all in zip-locks.

Nancy

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Author: minnesotagirl Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30293 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 10:36 PM
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All info here, and I think you can watch some episodes online.

I have to say, this kind of gives me the creeps. Not so much that there are people who live like this (although that is somewhat disturbing), but that there is an entire TV show dedicated to this particular form of mental illness. It seems wrong on a lot of levels. I watched about 30 seconds of it and felt icky about seeing something that was so clearly none of my business. Does anyone else have that reaction?

MNgal

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Author: MissEdithKeeler Big gold star, 5000 posts Top Recommended Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30294 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/2/2009 10:40 PM
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I have to say, this kind of gives me the creeps. Not so much that there are people who live like this (although that is somewhat disturbing), but that there is an entire TV show dedicated to this particular form of mental illness. It seems wrong on a lot of levels. I watched about 30 seconds of it and felt icky about seeing something that was so clearly none of my business. Does anyone else have that reaction?



Yes, but for me it's sort of a train wreck thing. I don't want to watch, and feel icky... but I'm sort of fascinated and drawn in, too.

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Author: madamhusker1 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30296 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/3/2009 12:45 AM
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Hoarding is a disorder that unfortunately seems to be more common than realized. With our consumerist society, I suppose it was bound to happen. Clutter is one thing, but for people to be willing and able to live in such squalor is mind-boggling.

I hope this show becomes more popular (not quite the word I wanted to use, but the only one I can think of,) and people who live like this will recognize the symptoms and result. I also hope it brings awareness and a willingness to either try to treat this condition, or perhaps a change in some laws to allow action to be taken by third parties, when the people with the problem refuse to acknowledge it. I don't take that lightly, as I personally believe government intrudes inot our lives *far* too much already.

In many cases, it appears the only way to keep someone from accumulating (buying) stuff is to remove their resources. Sounds harsh, but what alternatives are there, at least right now? Society attempts to prevent DUI's by revoking drivers licenses, (although only people who actually respect the law will obey it,) so revoking a person's ability to buy too much stuff might be one solution. This would involve intervention and conservatorship, situations that could become complicated. Then there would also be the argument that a person's rights are being taken away. But what about the rights of neighbors and affected family members? Hoarders usually do not seem to realize (or care) that their lifestyle affects people outside themselves.


I dunno. All I can say is, with the family experience I've had, it couldn't hurt. The more people are made aware of this, the better. Have done a fair amount of research on this topic, and it hasn't been fun.


MH 1

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Author: n8larson Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Ticker Guide Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30299 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/3/2009 12:03 PM
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n8:It sounds to me like there's a real fine line (as opposed to a gray area) separating those with a little clutter problem from those who can't physically move around their house because they save dead batteries.
MOI:Um, how are you defining a fine line? That sounds scarier to me than having a gray area, frankly.

oh, I meant that the fineness of the line separating mental illness from being a bit of a packrat makes it easy to tell which side you're on. It's a simplistic, psychologically naive way of framing a statement most of the time, and if I remembered anything from the psych classes I took in college, I probably wouldn't have used it. There are probably degrees (shades of gray) in just about any type of mental illness. My point was this:

y'all aren't crazy.

then again, crazy people don't think they're crazy. hm.

-n8 (probably not crazy)

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Author: Myownigloo Big funky green star, 20000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30300 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/3/2009 12:33 PM
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oh, I meant that the fineness of the line separating mental illness from being a bit of a packrat makes it easy to tell which side you're on.

Don't know about psych terms, but in layspeak, "a fine line" indicates that there's not much difference between one side and the other but that one side is really ugly and awful and that the not ugly side could easily slip into the ugly side.

So I'm glad you didn't mean a layspeak fine line.

MOI

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Author: n8larson Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Ticker Guide Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30301 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/3/2009 12:50 PM
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in layspeak, "a fine line" indicates that there's not much difference between one side and the other

aha... so, "fine line vs. fat line" is different from "fine line vs. gray area". It appears that I was mixing metaphors, then. Thanks for the clarification on that.

-n8 (hoping to talk gooder one day)

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Author: Gingko100 Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30303 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/3/2009 1:08 PM
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I'd say there was a nice big line. People who can acknowledge that they have an issue, and who are at least looking for help in dealing with that issue, are not in any real danger of becoming hoarders.
Ummmmm...yes, they are.

My friend who is a serious and real horder knows she has an issue. She asked me for help in "cleaning up her place" a few years ago - I spent two weeks (8 hours a day) a few years ago trying to help her, until I realized it was destroying our friendship. She literally couldn't throw away 3-year-old a HUGE empty vaccum cleaner box in the middle of her living room. She went through the recycling after I put stuff in it to make sure there was nothing I was tossing that was valuable, and took back 60% of it, she had >100 pairs of socks, including some that still had tags and others that were so "girly" she would never wear them, but she couldn't give ONE pair away. Her place was impassable - I couldn't even close the door to the toilet when I used it, but had to ask her to go in the other room for my privacy.

She knows she has an issue - but she cannot do anything about it. I finally decided, well, it wasn't MY issue, and I'd rather have her as a friend than spend my time playing tough love with her to make progress on her place.

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Author: RainyDayWoman Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30304 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/3/2009 3:56 PM
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I watched about 30 seconds of it and felt icky about seeing something that was so clearly none of my business. Does anyone else have that reaction?

A lot of "reality tv" seems like TMI to me, LOL.

However, in this case I think the show might raise awareness for other hoarders and their families as to what constitutes a problem, and possible ways to deal with these kinds of problems. I can also see how some hoarders who might never allow someone into their house to help them might benefit from the information imparted in a non-personally-threatening tv show.

RDW

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Author: reader99 Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: 30308 of 37123
Subject: Re: Hoaders Date: 9/4/2009 8:19 PM
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This discussion prompted me to watch a show online. The lady named Tara that had extensive collections including teddy bears and happy meal toys. I wondered why the professional de-clutterer helping her didn't bring in display cases and bookcases. I could see that one of her difficulties was that there was truly no place to put stuff - all in boxes on the floor where furniture would normally be.

I realize she might have filled up any furniture and been back to where she started before long, but lots of people have collections, and display cases/shelving would have made sense.


Reader99
Studying design and decorating by watching HGTV

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