How is stating FACTS, being a victim? I'm just asking for ways to help solve OUR problem.

You said she would say how "bad" you are. Those who claim that everything isn't there fault don't receive positive feedback.

FACTS can be spun. When marriages are stressed, facts are not seen the same way by both spouses. It was clear from your posts that your marriage is in trouble. Hopefully, your pastor can help with the underlying issues amd allow you to work together on the financial issues possible.

Facts not listed can also change the interpretation of other facts. Bipolar is not trivial fact that wasn't listed. The other fact that I didn't see earlier is that the youngest has been in school for only ten weeks. I had assumed it was longer.

Others have recommended Dave Ramsey. I personally don't like him, but he has helped many get out of debt.