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However, he is located in NJ as well and I have not received anything in more than a week --my title took three days to be delivered. I talked with him on Thursday and he said he had mailed the check out on Tuesday 10-5-04.

Give it 10 days to 2 weeks. Then call the adjuster back and ask that he replace the check/draft.

I took a plane to Miami to pick up another car that I have, and drove back to New Jersey. I feel someone should cover the expense for this trip... who should I target? The other driver's insurance? Geico told me they will reimburse me for the totaled car and it would be up to me to decide how I replaced it.

Your entitlement under your policy depends on the insurance contract you have. Your ability to collect from the other party, or his insurer, directly, ultimately, depends on the court of jurisdiction.

This whole experience has been aggravating as you can imagine. I consulted a lawyer regarding the possibility of geting pain and suffering compensation. He told me I would need at least a discal hernia to have a case in court.

NJ may be different than the States with which I'm familiar - Have you sought opinions from another/other attorneys?

as well as the reimbursement of all my deductibles, from the other driver's ins. company.

In the States with which I'm familiar, when you collect under Collision coverage, you sign over your rights to collect directly from the other person or his insurer to your insurer, and they are obligated, by law, to seek reimbursement for both the amount they pay and your deductible and reimburse your deductible, to the extent/percentage they prove successful.
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