Message Font: Serif | Sans-Serif
No. of Recommendations: 0
However, if two people are so far apart as that in their goals and attitudes, I don't see how the marriage can work over the long term.

You've just described my DH and me. So far we've been together 18yrs. The first 11 we weren't married and we didn't live together until 2yrs after our marriage yet here we are. It can work. It just takes work. We happen to think our relationship is worth it.

In the example I just gave, what would happen when the couple reaches retirement age? Would the partner who had scrimped and saved for their retirement tell their spouse "I'm off to Aruba, too bad you don't have any money and have to continue working, I'll miss you!"

Sometimes yes. When we were dating MY DH never wanted to take a vacation. Whenever the subject can up he would say…
I have no money.
I have no time.
I have no desire.

Because I didn't want to go without him we never went anywhere, even though the only thing I've ever wanted to do with my life is travel. After a few years I took a cruise with 6 of my co-workers. I came back and declared my intentions to resume traveling with or without him. The next year he let me plan a 4 day trip. Since then the way we've handled things is that I pick the spot (he gets a veto). I handle all the plans. Our household budget includes funds for a modest vacation I pay for anything over that. He covers his expenses when we get where we're going and has a good time. So far we taken several cruise, travel to Mexico and went to Tahiti for our honeymoon. I even surprised him at the airport with tickets to Paris for our 2nd anniversary.

It works for us because we agreed on a joint budget that includes all our needs, joint savings and some wants. I wanted a big wedding & exotic honeymoon so I paid for them. I wanted the house; I saved the down payment & closing costs. DH agreed to the increased housing costs. We wanted a child, so DH agreed to cover the budget as long as I stay home. I saved my own money to cover a monthly cleaning service and childcare 1 day a week. If DH decides to stay home with our daughter when I return to work I'll cover the budget and we'll rent out the upstairs apt for extras. As I said…it works for us.
Print the post  


When Life Gives You Lemons
We all have had hardships and made poor decisions. The important thing is how we respond and grow. Read the story of a Fool who started from nothing, and looks to gain everything.
Contact Us
Contact Customer Service and other Fool departments here.
Work for Fools?
Winner of the Washingtonian great places to work, and Glassdoor #1 Company to Work For 2015! Have access to all of TMF's online and email products for FREE, and be paid for your contributions to TMF! Click the link and start your Fool career.