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Author: juliepooh Three stars, 500 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 681  
Subject: Re: Dilemma Date: 4/18/2002 1:30 PM
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I am divorced and raising my 11 year old alone. My ex is a grown man and as such I feel that he is responsible for establishing and keeping his relationship going with our daughter. If she wants to call him, I dial the phone or give her the number. If he calls and she isn't there I make sure I give her the messages. As far as pictures and school work.. that is up to her. Sometimes I ask her if she wants to send her Dad a picture, if she does fine, if she doesn't fine. He has been missing so much from her life that it is normal for her not to talk to him or correspond with her. I had warned him that if he didn't do more to get involved in her life that the older she got the less she would want to talk with him. It is coming true. I have done nothing to discourage their relationship but I don't think it is my job or my daughter's job to chase after someone who obviously doesn't want to establish a relationship with her.

I know a lot of people will probably disagree with this. That is your right. This is what has worked for my daughter and myself. She has been disappointed so many times by him that she has reached the point where it almost doesn't matter if she talks to him or not. It is sad but that's the way life is sometimes. I also believe that she is better off not having a lying, manipulative, untrustworthy, selfish person in her life. And before anyone asks or assumes... I have never said a bad word about my ex to my daughter. His actions speak volumes.

I wish you the best and hope everything works out for you. You have to decide what works best for you and your daughter and what is her best interest.
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