I came from one of those long-lived but not very happy marriages (neither could afford to leave, or so they thought, and I guess I was a factor). We had both long marriages and divorces in the family, but the quality really varied. Some people in long marriages were miserable, and some people who got divorces--it was the best thing they could have done. I guess the message I got was "being able to say 'we stayed married no matter what' is not worth living miserable and scared."We've been married almost 22 years (in March) and both of us were divorced (me, twice) and so far, so good. We knew each other non-romantically for 5 years first, which helped. Side note:On the "taking one's spouse on a vacation," I think whoever makes the arrangements and makes sure the trip actually takes place gets to claim the "taking" part, no matter where the money comes from. cm
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