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Why do I have to keep falling in love and getting my heart shattered? For a year or so I was in love with my primary cab driver, a drama major like me and very interesting to talk to. I so wanted him to take me someplace out to eat or to a movie or to just pick me up and talk somewhere and I have invited him to a couple of Capital Metro meetings and out to Quality Seafood for shrimp and each time he turned me down. I never got the guts to ask him why but I still call him when I need a driver because that's the only way I get to talk to him!

Enter my new church friend. . .

Last Sunday I went to a new church I had been told about and had been recommended to me and I was sitting alone in a pew when this guy about my age came up to me and said,"Can I sit with you?" Sure, I told him. We shared the hymnal, program and Bible and he kept sitting very close to me, with his arm on the back of the pew. After church, I said I had to call a cab and he said he would take me home and would I like to go out for lunch? Of course, I told him. Now he is up north where his mom is dying of cancer and I have emailed him a couple of times offering my condolences and a few quotes of faith. He never emailed me back and this Sunday I asked my associate pastor if she had heard from him and she said yes, but not about his mom. Of course the first thing I thought was that he was complaining to her that the emails were just too much and I'm afraid when I see him next Sunday he'll ignore me and tell everyone how pushy I am!

I had so hoped he would be the companion and friend I have prayed so hard for since my husband died six years ago. His wife died several months ago and we seem to have so much in common.

What the heck do I do? I am in my fifties and I feel like a giddy teenager! I had been married most of my life so don't know how to go about controlling my emotions, especially when it comes to men and loving them.


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When Life Gives You Lemons
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