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Why do I have to keep falling in love and getting my heart shattered? For a year or so I was in love with my primary cab driver, a drama major like me and very interesting to talk to. I so wanted him to take me someplace out to eat or to a movie or to just pick me up and talk somewhere and I have invited him to a couple of Capital Metro meetings and out to Quality Seafood for shrimp and each time he turned me down. I never got the guts to ask him why but I still call him when I need a driver because that's the only way I get to talk to him!

Enter my new church friend. . .

Last Sunday I went to a new church I had been told about and had been recommended to me and I was sitting alone in a pew when this guy about my age came up to me and said,"Can I sit with you?" Sure, I told him. We shared the hymnal, program and Bible and he kept sitting very close to me, with his arm on the back of the pew. After church, I said I had to call a cab and he said he would take me home and would I like to go out for lunch? Of course, I told him. Now he is up north where his mom is dying of cancer and I have emailed him a couple of times offering my condolences and a few quotes of faith. He never emailed me back and this Sunday I asked my associate pastor if she had heard from him and she said yes, but not about his mom. Of course the first thing I thought was that he was complaining to her that the emails were just too much and I'm afraid when I see him next Sunday he'll ignore me and tell everyone how pushy I am!

I had so hoped he would be the companion and friend I have prayed so hard for since my husband died six years ago. His wife died several months ago and we seem to have so much in common.

What the heck do I do? I am in my fifties and I feel like a giddy teenager! I had been married most of my life so don't know how to go about controlling my emotions, especially when it comes to men and loving them.

Help!

lovelyrics
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nothing wrong with spotting attractive fellows

it's great to strike up conversations and to admire men --
not so great to invent heartpangs when someone refuses to date you, or doesn't stay in touch with you, a new acquaintance, during a sorrowful time away from town


find yourself a square dance or a contra dance and relax in social dancing
play cards
does the church have a committee you'd like to work on?
read some great romance novels = I'm a fan of the original books about Lord Peter (Wimsey) and the love of his life, Harriet Vane
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Don't count him out yet. With his wife dying several months ago and his mom dying now, he has a lot to deal with. Tell him you are there for him if he needs someone and let him have his time to deal with everything that is going on. Smile, say "hi" at church but then leave him alone and see what he wants from you.
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Don't give up on him yet. . .thanks for your response. It is calm, cool and cogent.

Thanks for responding. . .

lovelyrics
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Well, my friend is back in town and he wrote me an email telling me he was back and he just wanted me to know. He said he would write more over the next couple of days.

I replied that I was glad he got back safely and asked him if he would be in church on Sunday.

So I'm not giving up. . .yet. . .

lovelyrics
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Don't give up, just give him space. Let him approach you at church. If he doesn't, walk by, smile and wave or say "hi", and KEEP WALKING, unless he engages you in conversation. Wait for him to approach you, e-mail you, etc. If it's meant to be, it will happen. Just pray about it and try to keep busy finding other projects and things to do.
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