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Author: wellergroup Three stars, 500 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 22714  
Subject: Re: Intermarriage Date: 2/14/2002 4:47 PM
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I do not. I'm sure some do and may even argue that rabbinic support of intermarriage is inclusionary, but I think the truth is that it is just about being afraid to ask tough questions and take stances on a personal level.

The statistics show that the vast majority of children who come from "mixed" marriages do not marry Jews, observe Jewish traditions or think of themselves as Jewish as adults. The point is that while a few spouses may convert later, apparently most do not. If Rabbi's were not afraid of looking exclusionary or if they weren't contacted by the bride/groom after the engagement, they might walk away from more weddings. However, what does a Rabbi do if one of the machers from the synagogue/temple says, "Look my son/daughter want's to marry this non-Jew, please officiate"? The Rabbi can say no and maybe the wedding is off - I doubt it. Maybe the family leaves or the Rabbi's contract isn't renewed or maybe they just find a Rabbi one who will do the wedding - because there is always some one who will do it. In Chicago, there is a mohel who I think would do brit melah for the son of two non-Jews if there were a Jewish grandfather who said, "So what time is the bris". The same is true I'm sure for marriages.

I agree that I don't understand, how given the known outcome, they can be so willing to contribute. One key issue is that the Reform movement believe Jewish children are the children of A Jewish parent. There are NO orthodox Rabbis who would perform such a wedding. Conservative rabbis are advised against it and many will not.

How is it possible to "raise the children Jewish", the phrase I hear all too often, in a home where one parent isn't Jewish. If the non-Jew wants to be part of a Jewish home – convert and do it before the wedding. Anything less is just lip service. The proof is when these Jewish kids come to your house for a Passover seder and ask, “Want to see what the Easter bunny brought me?” or when a family wants to have a Hanukkah party three days before Hanukkah so they can get to Florida for X-mas. It is especially difficult of course when it's the woman who is the non-Jew. Because at that point any children are not Jewish by long standing tradition – regardless of the approach the Reform movement wants to take. This issue is so important, that at my children's school they ask, point blank, on the application: father/mother's Hebrew name, and then conversion date & Beit Din if either is a convert

Sandy
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