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Author: Bobcatkitty Three stars, 500 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 6590  
Subject: Re: Where to Start? Date: 10/14/2012 12:48 PM
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I don't like myself much for the way I found out about the money troubles my Mom was having in 2005, so I'll just skip over it.

That said, it doesn't change the fact that age 85 or so, whe had $12K in credit card debt. I mulled things over for awhile and finally told my brother what I had found. At that time he didn't have access online to her checking account, so he was unaware what she was doing.

My brother (the attorney) had always been afraid of her, so was reluctant to tell her the real truth, which was she had no money. Anytime she called him and asked for a couple hundred dollars, he gave it to her from his own money.

We finally decided we would each kick in $250/mo, and I sent him a check every 6 months. Then when she called it wasn't her money that was given it was ours. The day we went shopping and she spent $70 on "her perfume" I'm suprised my head didn't explode right then and there. She told me I should buy some too, told her I couldn't afford that, and she offered to buy it for me. Good grief, I'd already bought it once why would I buy it again?

Fast forward: She is now 93, lives in assisted living, the Nebraska state Medicaid department is paying for her monthly cost, they take all of her SS axcept $60. I am now paying her phone bill (she thinks it's included in her rent) he pays the hair salon.

Now she has "stiffed" the department store of $4K, and I didn't ask about the Visa, Mastercard or Phillips 66.

My point is this: Can you somehow wean her off the credit cards and checkbook?? That is going to be your only salvation, otherwise, she'll be like my Mom and max them out, pay the minimums and keep charging.

I know it's hard, but tough love is sometims the only answer. My Mom was never held accountable for anything in her life, and even today, she still thinks she has money.

When she was moved into assisted living, the checkbook and all blank checks were taken from her and sent to my brother. The credit cards have been closed. All mail goes to my brother. She fusses about it at times, and I know at Christmas she'll be expecting to spend $750+ on gifts, but this year it simply "ain't gonna happen"

All the best to you LWW.....
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