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Author: YewGuise Big red star, 1000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 6774  
Subject: Re: I'm an idiot. Date: 2/28/2012 10:02 AM
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I had an inappropriate conversation on Facebook with a woman I used to know....
Am I wrong here?


Ok, that happened, I cannot deny that...
I confessed every thing. It's all I could do. There was no point in lying. I am a scumbag for chatting with that old acquaintence, that is clear.

It's not clear you get it. You start by acknowledging that the conversation was "inappropriate," then you downgrade the offense to "chatting."
What is clear is that this is a classic case of "not sorry for what you did, but sorry you were caught." (You never do explain what prompted you to have the inappropriate conversation in the first place, you only mention that "time goes on," hinting that therefore it doesn't matter.)
And you compound your guilt by trying to change the subject to your wife's reaction, and put her in the wrong.

Let's set aside for a moment who's "right" and who's "wrong," or even if blame is 50/50, 80/20, or some other ratio. The more important questions are:
- Do you want to stay married? Why or why not?
- Does your wife want to stay married? Why or why not?
- Going forward, if you both want to stay married, what standards of conduct are you both willing to agree to, and what safeguards against lapses are you both willing to agree to?

IMO these questions are for you to explore with your wife, not with the board. Good luck.
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