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Author: Eyago Three stars, 500 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 196882  
Subject: Re: Reforming marriage Date: 1/19/2005 12:43 AM
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I had really been hoping to avoid this topic, and maybe I'll regret not following my first instinct, but here goes...

After having adopted two children (and working on #3), it has occured to me how low a birth rate the world would have if every perspective parent was prevented from having children until they ran through the ringer that my wife and I had to before they could have a child. I applaud that agencies and governments are very careful about who they entrust their charges to when considering perspective adoptive homes, but I also have read too many depressing Sci Fi stories of government controlled conception to want to see it applied to birth situations; it is not something that gives me the warm fuzzies.

While it would probably do great service to many children to have their parents "vetted" before they are "placed" in that home, it is simply beyond the purvue of our government to be that invasive. The unfortunate consequence to our freedoms is that we are free to screw things up and place great burdens upon society and our children. There is, unfortunately, no good way to manage families through governmental involvement.

Taxing those who have children while they are unprepared is pointless since any tax will directly and negatively impact the child born in the first place. Taking the child out of the home is unnatural and requires a rather subjective standard by which to judge the circumstances and from the examples we have today of CPS mistakes and failures, we surely cannot expect better success when the numbers of children "under their jurisdiction" increase exponentially.

The unfortuante circumstances are that we live in a fallen world and the consequences for our disobediences are direct and palpable. For many children, the sins of the parents are very much visited upon them, and often the sins become generational.

We cannot solve a problem of the heart with punative external processes. We will only solve the problem when, as a culture, we take charge of our collective morality and teach what is right, are clear about the immediate and future consequences, and learn to take responsibility for our selves and our actions. Unfortunately, there are many who believe that freedom of person and expression of self are the greatest goals of our society.

When our society teaches that self-control is not a realistic goal, that sex can be separated from procreation, and that marriage is divorced from family the consequences become very apparent with then number of out of wedlock conceptions, the number of abortions, the number of broken homes, the poor state of education, the crime rate, and many other social ills that burden our society and destroy lives. And because the messages about what is proper and dutiful come largely from religious sources, and we have surrendered our teaching of sexuality to the government, and the government is proscribed from teaching values even remotely related to religion, we now have two or three generations of people who have little concept of their personal responsibility for maintianing the fabric of society and instead expect the government (that very same governemnt who they do not trust to run their lives) to manage the social problems.

No amount of charity, social programs or anything else can come close to doing the job that a healthy family can do. But since broken homes beget broken homes, we are in a losing battle when we don't work to address the problem at the source and find ways to prevent broken homes.

Children need to be taught how to live in a good home by living in a good home. It certainly does not help them to be told that broken homes are all they can ever hope to have for themselves when they grow up.

I don't advocate that children be ripped from their broken home and placed in non-broken homes, but an idea just sprung unbidden to my mind. Mabe we shouldn't be adopting the child but instead adopt the whole family so that both can see how it supposed to work.

Well, I probably said too much as it is, so I'll stop now.

Ron
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