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Author: Minxie Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool CAPS All Star Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 681  
Subject: Re: on single parents Date: 9/11/2006 3:42 PM
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I have no idea where notablelaggard was coming from with his/her post, but I think it was out of line.

Yeah, me too, obviously... ;-)

I, too, am a single parent that does not share custody and has done everything on my own. I have had limited help from family and one close friend. Earlier on this board I did a rant on the difference between single parents and divorced parents, because I feel a shared custody arrangement is not the same as my experience or what I'm going through.

That is exactly it. I have one close friend where I live who is super and helps us a lot but even she is married. She's awesome but...in the middle of the night, it's still only me. After work, it's still only me. Making all of the thousands of decisions that will forever warp the Chunky Monkey...still me! Plus, I really do just want to be able to share with his father that he is standing and growing and teething and AMAZING!

Divorced parents have that support, whether they avail themselves of it or not. They know unconsciously at least that they are not the only ones alive responsible for that child. I am the Chunky Monkey's only parent; *I* am the only one responsible for him at all and there's no one else to make these decisions.

You know the other group that I think is different: single mothers who use IF or adopt. Personally I didn't plan to be single and pregnant but things happen, ya know? Heck, I didn't plan to be pregnant at all but I certainly thought maybe, sometime, in the future, after we're married... You know, I assumed with him discussing marriage, that one day we might be married.

Anyway...most of those ladies plan to be single mothers and consequently know just what they intend to say to their kids about the "dad questions". I don't know what to tell my son; I'm certainly not going to tell him his father didn't want him, truth or not. As for now, I have made it as easy for him as possible to be a part of his son's life; he just has to involve himself.

Anyway, I understand where you are coming from.

Me, too! ;-) How do you handle the "dad questions"? The Monkey is only seven months old but eventually he's going to ask and I don't see his father coming to his senses any time soon.

Minxie
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