UnThreaded | Threaded | Whole Thread (6) | Ignore Thread Prev | Next
Author: GardenStateFool Big gold star, 5000 posts Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 42361  
Subject: Re: struggling with health issue and regret Date: 9/20/2012 11:47 AM
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Recommendations: 4
I know this is not the end of the world. There are people who have it WAY worse than me. But they didn't bring it on themselves. How can I stop being angry at myself and start being happy with my kids again? Meanwhile I'm wasting time being sad, when my kids are only getting older, and they will only be little for such a short time.

(((((((Zuzu)))))))

You didn't bring this on yourself. You did want to have a situation corrected, and if it had worked properly, you'd have been in a different place than you are now. But that doesn't mean you were wrong to have it done.

First, you need to figure out how to mitigate your condition. Maybe wearing wraparound sunglasses/glasses in windy conditions might help? Or a hat of some sort to help block wind? (My mother suffers from exactly the same condition, by the way - tear duct surgery and now a dry eye, exacerbated by the wind).

Second, you probably need to talk to someone. When I get stressed, I get angry as well. My job provides HUGE amounts of stress, and managing to keep the anger from leaking over to my kids is not easy. Sometimes, I end up apologizing to them. A lot.

I am fortunate that I can push my job away to a certain degree or for a period of time (Phone = OFF) but your eye is something you take with you. So you may need to either talk to someone to lift some of the burden or to figure out the options available to help your condition.

Also, talking to your KIDS is not the worst thing. Over time, I have had to figure out age-appropriate ways to say to my kids:

"I'm sorry I was yelling/aggravated/short-tempered/mean/upset today. I am sad because (work stinks/whatever) and I am not acting nicely. It's not your fault and I'm sorry. Can you help me figure out how to feel happier?"

Depending on what was wrong, sometimes MY KIDS have come up with the best ways to mitigate my problems. They become my allies and we end up with all kinds of inside jokes that become shortcuts to helping me cheer up and get back on track when my stress gets out of control again. It's amazing how resilient - and imaginative - they are at helping YOU, and they feel good when they see Mommy smiling and know THEY helped "fix" that.

I know, you're the Mommy, you should be strong and protect them from all that, since it's not their fault.

They're also your family, and they love you. And they are kids, and they like to help others. They can help you.

GSF
Post New | Post Reply | Reply Later | Create Poll Report this Post | Recommend it!
Print the post  
UnThreaded | Threaded | Whole Thread (6) | Ignore Thread Prev | Next

Announcements

Pencils of Promise - Back to School Drive
"Pencils of Promise works with communities across the globe to build schools and create programs that provide education opportunities for children."
Post of the Day:
Macro Economics

Russia Collapsing Again?
What was Your Dumbest Investment?
Share it with us -- and learn from others' stories of flubs.
When Life Gives You Lemons
We all have had hardships and made poor decisions. The important thing is how we respond and grow. Read the story of a Fool who started from nothing, and looks to gain everything.
Community Home
Speak Your Mind, Start Your Blog, Rate Your Stocks

Community Team Fools - who are those TMF's?
Contact Us
Contact Customer Service and other Fool departments here.
Work for Fools?
Winner of the Washingtonian great places to work, and "#1 Media Company to Work For" (BusinessInsider 2011)! Have access to all of TMF's online and email products for FREE, and be paid for your contributions to TMF! Click the link and start your Fool career.
Advertisement