Message Font: Serif | Sans-Serif
 
No. of Recommendations: 16
I love how PC have turned our discussions into attempts to make everyone happy. Sometimes you have to hear things or say things that are not nice.

I recently received a reply on the LBYM board where some was trying to, in PC, tell me to shut up. I would have preferred just being told to shut up and
why.

And that reply came from me telling someone to learn to use their credit cards more responsibly. Jeez, I have have wrote pages of fluff to say that nicely,
but sometimes, being direct is far better than being nice.
__________________
Actually, I think he tried to tell you WHY people have resented your responses. You DO come across as a know-it-all, condescending megalomaniac from time to time. Maybe that's part of the Tweaker "character" but after a while, people get tired of having their chains yanked gratuitiously, spoken to as if they couldn't find their rears with two hands and a flashlight. Perhaps you have wisdom that exceeds your years, and you're as entitled to share it as anyone else. I don't care how old you are if you have something to tell me that I can really use. Your posts aren't stupid or useless. But there's a lot to be said for both compassion and reading carefully. In the case of the LBYM poster--who is a recent arrival-- panicked about overdrawing her bank account and looking for some advice about how to deal with the situation until payday, it was clear that she was pretty angry with herself and embarassed. She ALSO mentioned that she had closed her CC accounts, so getting a cash advance wasn't an option. It seemed to me that she was TRYING to get a handle on things, and was being responsible with the CCs in a way that worked for her. Your "truth-telling," however true it may be, didn't make a particularly constructive contribution. (Re)stating the obvious, even when you think it needs to be stated, doesn't make you a prophet... though perhaps in this land it might. It's your board, after all.

To be fair, there was at least one other post that wasn't particularly kind to the poster, but at least that poster gave quite a bit of the sort of advice that the OP had solicited. You may be right that your reputation precedes you, and you're penalized for it, but it's part of the "character" YOU created.

Being measured and kind in your advice can make a world of difference in how your answers are taken. It has nothing to do with being PC. Take a page from the book of Socrates: Ask a lot of questions, PAY ATTENTION to the answers, concede what you must and THEN through your praeternatural mastery of logic, prove everyone wrong. : ) Socrates was never defensive and whiny.
Print the post  

Announcements

What was Your Dumbest Investment?
Share it with us -- and learn from others' stories of flubs.
When Life Gives You Lemons
We all have had hardships and made poor decisions. The important thing is how we respond and grow. Read the story of a Fool who started from nothing, and looks to gain everything.
Community Home
Speak Your Mind, Start Your Blog, Rate Your Stocks

Community Team Fools - who are those TMF's?
Contact Us
Contact Customer Service and other Fool departments here.
Work for Fools?
Winner of the Washingtonian great places to work, and Glassdoor #1 Company to Work For 2015! Have access to all of TMF's online and email products for FREE, and be paid for your contributions to TMF! Click the link and start your Fool career.
Advertisement