I'll try to illustrate how much of a novice computer user my neighbor is by saying that he thinks of me as an expert. If that's not enough to send you screaming into the night, maybe this will do it:

My neighbors had family visiting this weekend, including a couple of teens who spent Friday night "playing games" on their computer. This morning the PC ran as sluggish as a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter, so he called me for help. If having Juno as their ISP wasn't bad enough, the kids also managed to turn off the spyware programs I installed for him just last week, so it was loaded with junk.

Looking through the the browsing history of the past 36 hours, I found that rather than games the boys did some "curious" surfing to say the least. One website I came across had these choices on its opening page:

*Midgets
**Pregos
***Bondage
****Spanking
*****Enema
******Pee
*******Poo
********Extreme

Extreme? What the hell were the first seven?

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Epilog:

I didn't mention any of this to my neighbor. I just did a clean-up, re-activated the anti-spyware programs, then called the boys aside, and after informing them of my findings mentioned that I have a hillside that needed weeding and why it would be in their best interest to do a little volunteer work. Then I went shopping for a new digital camera.

That slope sure looks neat now.

~aj