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It's a wonder I've been married over 20 years, thick as I often am.

I'm compulsive and anal and boringly reliable. You could set your watch or even your calendar by many of my habits and if someone ever did decide to whack me they'd only have to follow me around for one day to know where I'd be and when.

My beloved has been having a not-so-good week and today she was really frustrated by overall events. When I went home I did my best to console her, if microwaving a burger and listening empathetically is worth much. It was time for me to get back to the office and I was actually a few minutes late when she commented she really wanted a milkshake, but knew we were out of ice cream. "Yeah, and I've gotta get back."

So, off I go, barreling down the street. To the left, the highway leads back toward the office. To the right is a Jack-In-The-Box, where they serve up real ice cream milkshakes that I know she loves.

I pause.

"What are they gonna do, shoot me?"

Right turn.

After all, we're talking priorities, here, right?

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