I want to thank you all for your wisdom. We had a heart to heart last night. More tears...Says he is willing to hand over his whole paycheck if that will help. So at least he can see on paper where the money is going or needs to go.I will keep hope alive that he finally realizes I am a mother cub who has to protect my children and his spending and carelessness (late fees/NSF/repos, etc.) are killing me and the choice is to either be on board or go elsewhere. We don't have a rocksolid communicative marriage at any stretch of the imagination...and I have doubts of his ability to stick with this for very long but at the minimum, I can start paying stuff down sooner so there isn't so much when the courts get involved with splitting the debt. Immediately get a full list of all of debts. You need to know how deep of a hole you are in. It would still be wise to have a consultation with a lawyer to discuss both bankruptcy and divorce. You need to plan for the possibility of both. Don't make any withdrawls from your retirement plans until you fully understand your combined financial situation. If things go badly, you will need money for a lawyer and probably enough to rent an apartment.
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