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I wondered about putting out pics of him; did you wait until she asked or did you put those out for her from the beginning?

She was asking questions about the same time he was making plans to see her, so the pics came out then. I only had a couple, and gave one to her to treat as a "treasure" with her special things and so she would know him when he came over.

She regularly misplaces the pic now and is always surprised when she finds it again.

One of my concerns regarding the family issue is that his father has two sons from his first marriage. I don't want the Monkey to feel unwanted; you know, his father is involved with those two and not him. I just don't know how to deal with that; should I tell him about his brothers or not?

I would say not, at least not until he's a teen or so, and only if he asks or is trying to reach out to his father and that side of the family. C may be her dad's only kid, last I talked to him he was pretty serious about a girl who didn't want children, ever, so that's not something I have to deal with.

His father wants nothing to do with him, but his aunt does. It's weird and frustrating.

Oh, man, I would have no idea where to begin with that one! For a while at least, he doesn't need to know that auntie is dad's sister. Another discussion for when he is older! At least it's some contact with that side of the family, though.

You know, no matter what, something is going to hurt him. If you tell him things too soon, he'll grow up feeling inferior, if you tell him when he's older, he'll feel you "lied" to him or hid things from him. You just have to figure out what might hurt the least.

For me, if a kid is old enough to ask a question, they are old enough to get an honest answer, but maybe not a COMPLETE answer. But that's me!


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