A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with the old rancher: "I need to inspect your ranch for illegal drugs. Rancher: "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....". DEA officer: "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !" ,pulls his badge out, "See this badge? This badge means I am can go anywhere I wish, at any time. No questions asked or answers given! Have I made myself clear"? The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull. With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs: "Your BADGE!, show him your BADGE!"
In reading this joke, I thought it was going to end with the DEA agent being shot with weapons that were 'walked' under Fast & Furious.So the ending was a surprise.OJ: The phone rang at two o'clock in the morning as a husband and wife were asleep.The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? ... How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" -- and promptly slammed the phone down.His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?"The husband replies, "I don’t know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."
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