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I'm genuinely curious. As I posted, I am for all practical purposes an atheist and live my life as one. BUT, I do concede I am agnostic when it comes to whether or not a creator may exist.

If painted into that same corner, are you agnostic also (recognizing that you live your life as a theist)?

Responding to your post, but I'll take any response from anyone.

I started down the road of a long winded reply about my journey, but I thought better of it at this point.
Its a good question. There are levels of doubt. As one's Christian faith increases, doubt changes. For example, you first need to believe there is a God. If you don't, it sounds silly to expect you to be 'all in' on the Christian faith.
Secondly, once that doubt is removed, you can consider Christ. If you accept that Christ is the Son of God, there is another level of acceptance of His words.
For example, John the Baptist grew up with Jesus Christ. He babtised Jesus and heard Jesus proclaimed the beloved Son of God. Then, when imprisoned, John saw his death as imminent. He sent word to Jesus to ask Him if He were indeed who he said he was.
John believed in Jesus, then required a whole new level of faith when he faced death. I believe facing death would do that to a person! And John was right to fear, because Herod lopped off his head.
I mean when you face a crisis of faith, it is natural for doubt to set in. John the Baptist didn't face doubt and become agnostic. He was already convinced there was a God and convinced that Jesus was a big part of it ("His sandal I am not worthy to untie").

Jesus, Himself, pleaded to have His fate set aside. He was facing crucifixion and sought clarity. He didn't suddenly question wether God existed. He needed clarity about His fate. No sense being humiliated and nailed to a tree if there is another way, right?

When a Christian has a doubt, it doesn't necessarily go back to wondering if God exists. It is about the next level of faith. The sacrifice in front of you. Then you walk through that door and on your journey.
You ask a good question. I hope this clears it up from the Christian perspective.
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