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Author: impolite Big gold star, 5000 posts Top Favorite Fools Old School Fool Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 38316  
Subject: I'm just gonna get this all off my chest Date: 10/2/2012 4:23 PM
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Skip if you are tired of hearing about The Dead Guy*.

T was convinced the big kids will forget about Grandpa. Possibly because he had people** die when he was very, very young and then not again until he was a teen....so he associates kids + dead people = forgetfulness. In the first few days I couldn't wrap my head around this, but once I figured out *why* he thought that way, I was able to explain that I most certainly remembered family members (including grandparents) that passed away when I was young. So he feels better about that now. Not that he was mad about the possibility of them forgetting - he was just extremely sad about it.

The part that absolutely kills me? Leroy Jethro. He won't remember him, because he is too little. I have no idea why this throws me for a loop but let me tell you people, I'm teary-eyed even writing this. I don't know if it's because Grandpa lovedlovedloved Leroy Jethro and he won't get to feel that for himself in a way he can remember, or because of all the neato things The Big Kids got to do with him that LJ never will...hell I don't know, it just gets me every time.

See also: He Didn't Have To Be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjO1F6oCab8

It's a song I always thought of T on when I heard it, because he chose to be a father to my children. His Dad chose to be his dad, at about the same age Q was when T and I started dating. Of course, it always brought up feelings in T for his Dad too.....and he put it on the CD we had at the visitation. AGAIN WITH THE TEARY-EYED JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.

When I saw T's Uncle C at the hospital I swear, I'm not kidding about this, I mean it, I thought: thank gawd a grown-up is here. Weird that you can still feels like such a kid sometimes.

My brain was so fried, I didn't read a book. For a little over a week. Finally picked one up late yesterday.

There is so much to do. So, so much to do. He had two businesses we have to sell/shut down, plus equipment associated with each. The accountant they use was at the visitation, so she knows we'll be needed her help. I think the first "next step" is to tidy up billing and make sure all outstanding invoices are issued, all unused parts are returned, etc. His biggest supplier has been more than gracious with our questions so far, and has offered to come to the house and sort through stuff that might be returnable and help us find a buyer for stuff that isn't. So that's nice.

Selfishly: it's been very nice having T home again. Sure, I'm used to him being gone over a week at a time hunting and such - but not when I'm an emotional wreck and he is too. It was tough, though we were only 45 minutes apart at any given time.

Wretched is being a person what needs physical comfort at a time your spouse needs to be left alone (he's not a touchy feely kind guy most of the time). Thank gawd his family are huggers. I even sat on Great Grandma's lap at one point. Hold me Grandma! T thanked me late Saturday night - he knew I'd been struggling and doing my best not to crowd him, and he thought I'd done a pretty admirable job of it - even if he got annoyed from time to time, he could see I was actively dialing it back. So {whew} on that one.

The kids. Q has decided I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT THANKS as his method of dealing with it; Her Bootiness had a good cry with Grandma (T's mom), and has been vocal about her feelings since. I told T Q is getting his method of dealing with it from the man that's raising him {AHEM}, and T's all I know. So they have some Boy Time scheduled here and there, plus a good talk last night too.

DN stepped right up to the plate when I told him. Took The Big Kids when needed, took Q for some time alone one night when it was obvious he needed one of his dads and T was still out of town, made sure to let the kids know they could call him, or they could call us with him, whenever they needed while all this was getting sorted out, etc. Kudos to him.

T's liver - hell, the liver of every member of the family - needs a good detox. We are talking 30 pack a night for most of them. Not sharing - each. GAH. Now the texts/emails to each other are about how much water they are getting in. <sigh> Kids. Cartons (CARTONS) of cigarettes were smoked, also. Rednecks do grieving up right.

This just absolutely rocked our generation (we are still called The Kids; our kids are called The Grandkids). Not just family-wise; T's friends and my friends are all GAH OMG NO NO WE HAVE LIKE 30 YEARS BEFORE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS CHIT KTHANKSBAI. I guess we expect stuff like car wrecks; heart attacks sound like something old people have. Our grandparents are old, dammit, not our parents. We just got old enough for our parents to be cool, for gawd's sake!

We cancelled camping for this coming weekend, since we basically haven't been home for two weekends now and the house (and yard, and vehicles) look it. We need to get caught up. SO we decide this, yes? Then the Fall Tourney schedule comes out....a game a day, starting Friday. VIOLENT EYEROLL

I really thought I had more years of FIL in my life.

impolite

* The Dead Guy would approve of this humor
** His bio father when he was 2, a bio-grandfather, etc.
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