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I'm sure this is a cultural thing, but I always find "calm poise" to be a strange reaction to the loss of a loved one. How can we tell if she's being stoic, or just doesn't care that her husband died?

I know that Nancy belongs to that crowd of people who think it's somehow undignified to ever show emotion in public, but surely it's appropriate to be teary-eyed, or look grief-stricken, yes?

She has been dealing with the slow death of her husband, who by all accounts was the center of her world, for 10 years (or more). She had been caring for him 24 hours a day (although with assistence), for many of the last few years, watching everything that made him a human being slip slowly away. I'm sure that there was a sense of relief, a feeling of a huge burden being lifted of her shoulders when he died; a burden which fell even harder on her husband. I have no doubt that she believes that he is in a better place, is happier, and, most importantly, that she is glad the he has gone, ending his affliction. She is confident that she will join him later.

I have known many who have died of complications from advanced Alzheimer's; I know of none whose family members openly wept because of it. There had been plenty of time to grieve the loss of their loved one before the body, itself, stopped functioning.

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