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Author: trybjkt Three stars, 500 posts Add to my Favorite Fools Ignore this person (you won't see their posts anymore) Number: of 681  
Subject: Re: Dilemma Date: 4/17/2002 10:49 PM
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Ishtar,
I too followed the link over from the cc board.
My daughter is 9. Her dad and I were never married. I did not list him on the BC when she was born. However, I have since had that ammended and he is listed now.Once I had that done, we went to arbitration through the county and he was ordered to pay child support. I agreed to take less than the standard as I figured some money was better than no money and I knew he would not pay me %17 of his income or what ever it was at the time.
To my surprise he has paid me faithfully every other week. I have encouraged but not demanded that he visit with her. I figured when we moved to Florida the money would stop. But he has continued to send a check. He is coming to Fl in May and will be stopping to see her. He calls her one time a week. She is thrilled. A part of me hates it...but I do my best to not let her see that.
I think you should send the card and the picture. You may want to offer him the opporunity to see her if he is ever in the area, or encourage him to write to her either snail mail or e-mail. This is NOT for his benefit or your benefit. Only for hers. Make sure she knows he did not leave HER. He left the relationship that you and he had. It is almost like covering for him, but I believe little girls need to know that somewhere there is a daddy that loves them. (even if daddy doesn't know it yet).
My best to you and Chandra
trybjkt
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