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It sounds to me like you did NOT have other partner(s) before DH and it makes me wonder if you have asked your OB-GYN about your discomfort.

I have not had other partners. I have talked to my physician (at one point I had a resident for my PCP and she spent over an hour talking to me about this problem.)

Are you able to endure a pelvic exam? Have you ever?

Yes, although they're not fun. With each new physician I have to convince him or her to start with the smallest scapula despite my wide pelvis.

Anyway, is there any chance of just grabbing a spontaneous moment and going for it? Do you think it has become such a cerebral thing that the physical aspect is sort of like a second thought?

Both DH & I are primarily cerebral, so we seem to do better when we can think about and plan for things.

I think at this point you should work on yourself and view this as a spasmed muscle issue as opposed to anything deeply emotional, sexual, etc.

Thanks. I've done a lot of things to improve matters. I started wearing tampons during my heaviest flow days even though they were uncomfortable. We ended up using fingers instead of anything prescribed by the doctor because the appointment wouldn't be covered by my health plan, would cost over $200, and fingers already come at room temperature.

At this point I think I've gotten over the extremely painful stage and am now to the uncomfortable stage. I told you I'd made progress in the last six years!

- Megan
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