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It was a plant, I reasoned, then I realized that it is the connection that I have with her is "dying".

I think you've built this up in your head into something it never was for her.

Then last week I finally had the courage to "casually" ask her to go to a movie with me. After some haggling, she finally agreed.But then she replied that another person (married) is interested in going.

If you had to "haggle" to get her to go out with you,it's not a good sign.If she invited a third person, it's the kiss of death.She didn't want to go out with you alone to begin with.If she did, she would have.

She was very surprised, said she treats me like a friend.

The kiss of death.Should have ended all romantic feelings for her or you could appear to be an obsessed psycho.

She agreed to think about it

Of course she'd tell you that. She didn't want to be rude and didn't like being put on the spot face to face.

This is a gal that I really like but I was afraid to approach her because we work together and I am afraid of messing up a great friendship.

I seem to do the same thing.I get interested and do nothing.Work relationships can be very difficult. As a rule I don't usually look there.

I don't regret it but I felt like a big loser.

And here you are writing about it.Go out as soon as possible and socialize! She's ONE woman of many...

I am still shocked that she didn't jump at the opportunity.

Jump at the opportunity? If this were the case, why are you sweating ONE woman?

I mean, I would rate myself an 85 out of 100. I am pretty smart, have a great job, no debt, house paid off, drive a mercedes, in other words, financially and emotionally stable. Why did she turn me down?

Maybe none of this is important to her.Maybe she sees herself the same way and doesn't think you have anything beyond what she already has.

I was so devastated at the time when my boss told I got a 3k bonus, I gave him a blank stare. Nothing seems to matter anymore. I went on a shopping spree with my closest friend but that didn't help much. He said it could be our age difference that she turned me down. She is 44 and I am 32. But age does not matter to me. She is smart, independent, has a great sense of humor, and cute. Now the more I think about it the sadder I become. Could this be the reason, or is the true reason that she really wants to have a work relationship and has no interest in me?

You seem to have all these material things, and call yourself "emotionally stable" yet you seem to be depressed about this.

News flash:You're NOT emotionally stable.

It was just a date,just a woman.It didn't work out...big deal.Move on! If you project your emotions the way you did in this post in real life, that would be a major red flag.


She replied with a stern email that she simply wanted to maintain our work relationship. I was quite disappointed and surprised by the tone of her message. I have replied and even called her, but so far I have yet to hear back from her.

A stern email says "there's no way in hell I am interested" and even AFTER that, you replied to the email and called her?!?!?!??!?!? And you really expect to hear back from her? She's not interested...


P.S. I am sure there is more to it than what you wrote here, but on paper it looks like you're in a pre-stalker phase.Let it go.

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When Life Gives You Lemons
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